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Love Bytes for Feb * Funny Love Poems * Swan Love * Calling Card
February 01, 2012

Love Bytes, Issue #045-- Funny Love Poems * Swan Love * Calling Card

February, 2012
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"Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle."

     ~Crystal Middlemas

 Funny Love Poems!

     feather pen

The Washington Post once held a unique romantic poetry contest. The rules: Entries must be two lines only, the first must be most romantic, the second the least romantic. Here's some of the better couplets they received:

-My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

-I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

-Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

-Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed

-I thought that I could love no other --
That is until I met your brother.

-Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head.

-I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

-I love your smile, your face, and your eyes;
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

-My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

-My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

-What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

***Why not access our great collection of the best love poems of all time?
Rest your weary soul at Love Poems!

True Love, Swan Style!

      black swan Petra loves pedal boat

Black Petra, the swan that fell in love with a pedal boat, is back courting her plastic lover after spending timein a local zoo in Muenster, Germany.

Swans choose a partner for life but this poor thing, a rare Black Australian swan named Petra, was apparently "imprinted" with the boat, which is shaped like a swan, and spent last summer swooning after it, to the delight of park visitors.

Winter came, and when Petra’s pedal boat lover refused to fly south for the winter, Petra also remained, a move that could have killed her as the cold weather arrived.

In the end, a local zoo took pity on the swan and gave her and her boat boyfriend a place to spend the winter. Biologists  introduced her to a group of actual male swans to see if she would mate, but the boys attacked her and she went haughtily back to the dock where her true love was tied up.

The pair were once again released to the lake together. Ah, spring is in the air!


*Romance Tip:

A "calling card"....

This is a must-have. A clever and unassuming way to give a guy your phone number. Much classier than scribbling on a matchbook cover or cocktail napkin. You need your very own calling card... And guys, this will work very well for you, too. Girls can pick up the phone too, you know.

For details on how to get your own card:

We hope you have enjoyed this issue of Love Bytes Ezine. Each month, we will bring you another inspiring photo, quote or poem, plus fresh new articles on love, intimacy, dating and relationships.


Cause if you don't have love, nothing else matters...


~Stella and the girls from

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