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Love Bytes * I want my family back * McCartney Love Story * Romance tip
July 01, 2013

Love Bytes, Issue #059-- Getting Family Back * McCartney Love Story

July, 2013
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"And what is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth. It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house. It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit. It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit, And to know that all the blessed dead are standing about you and watching."

               ~Kahlil Gibran

 I want my family back!


Dear Stella,
Me and my girlfriend of 7 yrs have split up temporarily. In her words, we are not broken up, we are still together; she just needs time to figure things out on her own. She felt as if I was "suffocating her". We have been living together for 6 yrs and have a 3 yr old daughter. I love my family very much and want them back.

Now, we still spend lots of time together, and she even spent the whole last week here at home with me. I really love her and she says she really loves me. What can I do to get my family back? We have had our ups and downs, but I think we've had many more ups than downs. But our downs have been really really bad, as we both went outside our relationship with other people. We have forgiven each other for that and moved on.

I just don't understand why she had to move out to figure things out. And why if she wants her time and space does she spend so much time at home with me? She spends maybe 3 days a week at her apartment and the other 4 at home with me. Is there any way I can get her to come back home for good? Is there any way to get our relationship back on track and moving forward instead of reverse? Please give me some good advice here; I'm dying and want my family back!

Thank you sincerely,

Dear Nathaniel/Yahoo:

It sounds like your relationship is going through some growing pains. Try not to look at the separation as going "in reverse". For whatever reason, your girl is having doubts about her future with you, and needed some space and time to figure things out. My best advice to you is to give it to her. She felt you were suffocating her, and if you don't back off, instead really press the issue with her, you may well force her to make a decision--- one you might not like. The fact that she spends so much time at home with you is a good sign; she really wants to be with you, after all.

My advice: I know it will be hard, because you are hurting so bad inside, and want things back the way they were. You need to lose the desperation. Try to act casual about the whole affair. Look up some of your old friends and go fishing or to a ball game with them. Occupy your time with an old neglected hobby or interest. Don't press for any heavy-duty talks with her right now. Let her "find herself". Let her decide on her own, without any coercion from you, what she wants to do with her life. Arguing, threats or begging will not help the love and respect between you two grow. Give it time. And if she decides to move back in with you, then, and only then: have you ever considered proposing marriage to the girl?

***Read more of Stella's excellent advice for the lovelorn here:  Dear Stella

Never Marry on the Rebound...
The Tragic McCartney Love Story


Paul & Linda... a fairytale romance

You would think that a beloved millionaire celebrity cult figure would know better, wouldn't you?

But it seems that fame and fortune did little to prevent Paul McCartney from making the same mistake a lot of us mere mortals have... marrying on the rebound. Paul was married to Linda Eastman for 30 years, before her death to breast cancer in 1998. Four years later, in 2002, he married Heather Mills, a model. I guess you can't really say that four years is exactly "marrying on the rebound". But in this case, apparently, it was.

In a recent heartfelt online tribute, one of Linda's longest-standing friends (who was not named in the article) revealed a little bit of the private side of the McCartney's early life together, which explained why Paul's second marriage was doomed to failure.

Linda's friend explained that Linda was Paul's "soul mate", their marriage a once-in-a-lifetime matchup that is unlikely to ever be equalled again in Paul's life.

Linda was Paul's rock, a most steadying influence in a crazy celeb life. She was as down-to-earth as a root vegetable. Not that she looked it. Although not conventionally glamorous, her face had a distant beauty and serenity.

Linda was the first to admit that she was the strong one, that Paul was often in awe of her, that she never held back when she felt he needed a good ticking-off. She fiercely guarded the privacy of her family, always putting her husband and children first. She never got caught up in the glamorous celebrity lifestyle.

Linda reminisced to her friend about The Beatles' break-up. She revealed that she alone had nursed Paul through it, and through his falling-out with Lennon, which nearly caused him a nervous breakdown. "I calmed him down after all the Beatles madness," she told her. "He used to thank me all the time for putting the sense back into his life".

Linda said she couldn't imagine Paul being with another woman, if anything happened to her. She was matter-of-fact about this. She wasn't saying that Paul shouldn't marry again, but simply that she couldn't imagine him doing so. She told her friend she'd got Paul to live a simple home life, get back to basics, respect family traditions like birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas, to settle on a proper set of values.

"I still love Paul as dearly, of course, if not more than ever. We have never stopped fancying each other, not in all these years. Paul says that's the key to our marriage, that's what makes us tick. I hope so. I rather like the idea of being a sexy old lady! I'm older and wiser now, and my eyes are more open to the world", Linda had said in the past.

Sadly, Linda was diagnosed with and valiantly battled breast and secondary liver cancer for a couple of years. She passed away on April 17, 1998. Paul cried like a baby in friend Geoff Baker's arms after he lost her. Geoff revealed that Paul had cried every day for two years after.

Linda McCartney was the polar opposite of Heather Mills, whom Paul married in June, 2002.

Geoff, usually a cool character, was severely agitated at the wedding. He reportedly stated,"It's a f*****g disaster, this wedding. He shouldn't be doing it, but it's gone too far for him to get out of it. All anyone can do now is watch it fall apart."

In 2006, they started divorce proceedings, and it makes you wonder what Linda would think of it all. Paul adored "Lin" to the end of her life, and it would be a miracle for him to find such love twice in his life.

The worst mistake he made was in racing to replace her. It was an impossible task. Heather had noticed the chink in his armor and rushed into his broken heart. Then she broke it some more. Such a tragic story.

Give it several more years, Paul, you might not ever replace Linda, but you may one day find some degree of happiness with another woman. Just don't marry again. All that money is obviously a complication in your quest to find love and peace again.

*** Do you love true tales of romance? Check out our great selection here: Love Stories


*Romance Tip: 
  Every day, find one thing to do for your lover that he might not ever even know about. Giving unselfishly, without expecting reciprocation or reward for doing it, shows true love. Being thoughtful towards your mate always come back to you tenfold.                                        


We hope you have enjoyed this issue of Love Bytes Ezine. Each month, we will bring you another inspiring photo, quote or poem, plus fresh new articles on love, intimacy, dating and relationships.


'Cause if you don't have love, nothing else matters...


~Stella and the girls from

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