Are we ready for marriage?

We met in May of 2004, got pregnant in Sept 2004, moved in together in Feb of 2005 and have been together ever since. I believe that for the first year and a half of our relationship it was all about our son and making sure he was taken care of. We didn't realize that we weren't paying much attention to one another and what each of us wanted.

Within the last year and a half we've started to work on each other and give each other the things we want and need as far as love is concerned.

I've heard rumors that he cheated about 2 years ago and I found out last September that he had a 10 yr old son. He seems to have washed that part of his life away due to issues with the mother.

The moment I found out I gave him the ultimatum and told him he had to be there for his son or be without me. He chose the obvious and we've constantly been working on us, and I feel like he's learned a lot.

He finally opens up and can express his feelings and says he doesn't want to live without me. My friends don't think we're ready yet but I feel otherwise. They all have their opinions and it's starting to get on my nerves.

He's 28 and I'm 27, he'll be 29 in July. He said he's made his mistakes and has now learned from them, and he knows there is no more room for error. He says he's ready to get married.

Are we ready for marriage?

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FROM STELLA:

Marriage is always a risk, you know? You place your whole future on the line, and trust your heart into the care of another human being.

But life itself is a risk, and you must take chances in order to find happiness. You two have been together almost 4 years now, you have a child to raise together. Maybe it's time to tie the knot.

You have said that your guy has made mistakes, but seems to have learned from them, and has made quite an effort to work on your relationship. No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. If you feel in your heart that he has truly changed his roving ways, is sorry he strayed, and that he truly wants to build a lasting relationship with you, then, yes, I think things look favorable for a successful marriage.

Having said that, if you still have serious doubts, then postpone the whole thing. You have nothing to lose by waiting until your head is more clear and your heart is sure. There's no deadline for this, right?

Wish I had an easier answer for you, but this is not an easy decision. No matter what, you are taking a big chance. Marriage is always a leap of faith. It just sounds to me like you love each other, are both willing to work at the relationship, and you belong together.

No matter what you decide, good luck to you!
Stella,

P.S. Tell all your friends thanks for their words of wisdom, but you don't need any more advice about this. You don't. Their advice is useless when it comes to YOUR relationship. Tune them out!

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