I´ll be as brief as possible: male friend travels on vacation to west coast where I live and looks me up via a third party. Wonderful surprise! We have known each other for centuries and, as friends, always got along like a house on fire although we were never dated. He had the classic steady girlfriend whom he married right after college, although they divorced a couple of years ago. A few years earlier, he had visited me with his wife and the three of us were in touch via FB sporadically until I deactivated my account out of sheer FB-itis.

Long story short, we hook up, hang out, catch up. Just like old times. Dinners, lunches, talk until the wee hours, laugh ourselves silly, even shed a tear or two, feel like a day hasn´t passed since high school and, to my surprise amid all the platonic, new BFF, bonded perfection, end up having sex.

The next day he tells me that he is in a long distance relationship with someone and he feels bad about the infidelity... I say "listen. It´s not an issue. We can just hang out. Forget it ever happened." But he wanted more, and I did, too. We had two gorgeous days and nights together. Sublime. The evening before his morning flight back, we sat and had a long conversation about life in general. We did not discuss any future as a potential romance but were rather just rapping to our hearts´ content. Suddenly, he looks at me and says that he wants me to know that for him, as a person and a woman, I am the "Real Deal". Touched, I thank him for that compliment and, as I was planning a move back to the East Coast already within the next few months (which he was thrilled to hear about when I told him when he first called me), we say goodbye for the moment and promise to keep in touch. He tells me he wants me to visit him when I get back to Connecticut, hang out at his house in NYC... See you in a few months. Keep in touch. I will. You bet. Take care...


I never hear from him at all. No email. No phone call. I was a wee bit infatuated at first, but now I am just thinking that I lost a good friend... After five or six weeks of nothingness (I hadn´t written or called either because I was positive he would contact me when he got back home), a week ago I email him a recipe of mine that he wanted with a neutral, girl-buddy-affectionate message in the hopes of normalizing a situation that may have created inner conflict for him. No response.

At first glance, it looks like a three night stand and "ciao, baby", but I refuse to believe that he would treat me like that with our amazing rapport and history of friendship and all. He is not the shy type, nor are head games his style. He is confident, alpha male, and direct. He was so all about me in every way... He is also one of the nicest people in the world. What gives??? Thanks for any explanation. I hope that sex didn´t destroy our friendship. Perhaps it did, and I have to accept that. Damn. Also, why would he tell me out of the blue that I´m the real deal to begin with? What in the world does that in itself and everything else mean?


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