Cut him loose or fight?

by Nancy
(LaSalle, IL 61301)

Dear Stella,

I was in a relationship with "Dan" about 6 years ago. We lived together but it did not work out. In spite of that, we remained friends. He became involved with another woman 90 miles from here and moved in with her. That relationship ended badly.

In the midst of his breakup, we re-connected as friends and spent a lot of time together. It then turned into a romantic relationship.

I feel myself not only liking him but falling for him. He insists that he also wants a relationship with me.

He has been seeing (coffee & dinners) a woman 12 years his senior. He states it is not sexual and I do believe him. But he had lied to me about seeing her. He has vowed honesty from now on but I am nervous and afraid.

Part of me feels that I cannot go through a relationship of lies and deceit, but I also do not want to set myself up for heartbreak down the road. He states he and this woman are only friends and I have no right to tell him who he can be friends with.

Do I trust him or cut him loose????

Note: I own my own business and he works for me.

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From Stella:
What?????
Step back and pretend this letter was written by a girlfriend or your sister. Wake up! You are playing the sucker here, Nancy.

He is dating another woman (call it what you will, coffee and dinners is DATING). He lied to you about it. Now why on earth would you believe him that there is no sex involved?

Who cares anyway? Let her have him. Cut him loose from your life for good. And this especially means he needs to find another job.

Stella