Don't feel the same

by Kimberly
(Ocean Springs, MS, US)

Me and my husband have been married 4 years now, and from the honeymoon on, he turned into a different man. He immediatly got too serious about marriage and said all the romance was over and time to get to work. Since then, he has been verbally abusive, with name calling and more to try and get me to change into the person he thinks I should be or wants me to be.

This has over time led me to resentment and to lose the love I once had for him. He has calmed down over time, after several separations and he has a lot of good qualities, but I don't think we are a match. Before we got married, it was wonderful and exciting and never an argument until marriage. Now we don't do anything together at all, and barely touch. I can't remember the last time we even kissed without it being just a peck. I am a very affectionate person and have to have intimacy in my life.

What should I do? The only thing I can think of now is divorce because I have no motivation nor desire to help make things better anymore. I'm happier when we're not together and he's not nagging me or pointing out my flaws. A lot of what he says is true NOW because he's beat me down to a place where I just don't care anymore...

-------------------------------------

From Stella,

I think you already know what my answer will be. Emotional abuse is horrible, and in some ways worse than physical abuse. Get out of this hellish marriage and find yourself again. Life is too short to live like that.

Good luck to you Kimberly,
Stella