Ex boyfriend took my ring, and now won't give it back

by Anna

Dear Stella,
My now ex-boyfriend and I had been together for a little over a year when he broke up with me for the first time (yes, it happened more then once). We got back together soon after that on my insistence, but things quickly went sour again after I had a spontaneous abortion without even knowing I was pregnant. There was a lot of insults and screaming from the both of us and crying and drama. The last months of our relathionship, he had become a little cold and distanced, but I put it down to other problems he was having at the time since he still kept saying that he loved me and wanted to marry me. During the break up, however, he blamed me and said that he hasn't been in love with me for months and that he couldn't stand to be around me anymore, offering no explanation other than that. I didn't take those words well and became hysterical when he broke off all contact. I started demanding an explanation, calling him and going to his workplace (he works alone so no chance for a scene). Somehow, this led to him "agreeing" to "act like my boyfriend" (his words) so I would leave him alone and stop bothering him which wasn't what I wanted, but as I still loved him, I took the opportunuty. During this time, on a very special day for me, he gave me his heirloom ring which he had promised to give me when he would propose, saying that it was only a gift with the justification that it was so I wouldn't excpect it for any other reason. A couple of weeks into our fake relathionship, he took it from me and said that he would give it back. Soon after that, we got in a huge fight and ceased all contact, but I made him promise that I would only leave him alone if he gave me back that ring. He said 'fine, I promise you will get it, I'll call you' and that was it. This happened two months ago and there is still no sign from him. I called him twice and wrote to him a couple more times, but he ignored me completely. I don't want to lose this ring as it is one of the only things I have left from him and it is a truly cherrished memory from happier times. I still love him in a way and I guess I always will (I was ready to marry him after all), but now I am only interested in getting that ring back and nothing else. Any ideas or advice? PS: And I know that in a way he is right in ignoring me, I behaved awfull towards him for months and became the epitome of the crazy ex, I won't justify myself for that, I know I was wrong and have no intention of going down that rabbit hole again, which is why I am looking for a solution that doesn't include harassing him, even though I would stoop down to that level again if he leaves me no other choice.

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