He's Coming Back! What Should I Do?

by Monique
(Utrecht, Netherlands)

I dated this guy on the same b-ball club as me for 8 months, but then he was going to Australia for his studies in late 2007. We did not talk about Australia until it was final that he was leaving in November.

I knew it was going to be hard, but I just thought we would work out the hard part of long distance. But he thought it was best to break up, because he said he could not handle long distance. I told him I loved him, but instead of saying he loves me back, he said other things, which he said to him is stronger than those words, (I believe him).

He's been away and I miss him, but we hardly ever talk. Are his feelings strong enough to come back to me?

It is only 3 weeks more until he comes back. All I think about is what is going to happen to us. I feel that I am in a lose or lose situation.

If I get back with him, he will be busy with his masters degree and have no time for me, or if we are not back together, I have to spend the rest of my time seeing him 2 to 3 times a week because he plays at the same club as I do.

My heart aches for him, but my mind tells me that I am just going to get hurt. My feelings are stronger since he left. I am just so lost and confused, he is always in my mind.

What should I do? I have been single for almost 9 months. I dated other people, but it felt wrong. None has the chemistry and fun I had with my ex.

Help me, please!!!

Monique

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FROM STELLA:

Dear Monique,

What should you do? Nothing! After he comes back, and you see him, I think many things will become crystal clear.

You will know whether he still cares or not.
You will know whether YOU still really care.

Studies might take up a lot of his time on his return, but should not actually kill a love that is meant to be.

My advice to you is this: When he comes back, let him come to you, make the first move. Stay calm and friendly and greet him warmly, but keep a little distance, and see what he does. If he really cares, then your relationship should blossom in it's own good time.

The worst thing you could do is get all weepy and emotional with him and force the issue. It will drive him away.

Patience, my dear, and Good Luck to you!
Stella

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