Hubby Wants to Meet Evil Mom

May 11, 2008

Evil Mom, Part II
by: Kristen

This is Kristin, who wrote the "evil mom" letter a few days ago. My husband has strongly urged me to at least meet with my mom. You could say he's sort of brokered a peace conference. My mom is flying in on Friday.

I knew when I wrote to you that it was the right thing to do. It's just hard. I am nervous about it. The story I told you was the whole story except that my parents had just divorced at the time. But should that have made any difference?

The hard part for me was that I had no history of being a problem, yet my mom would not take my word. Her shoot first and ask questions later method pissed me off. It had never been that way before. Also, it was so important to me to clear my name of any wrong doing.

I worked for someone once who told me he would not care if I only typed 30 words a minute, but make sure those 30 words are right. That's how I approach life. It's better to measure once, twice, or even three times and cut once. Get it right! It hurt me to be lumped in with juvenile delinquent scumbags.

Hell, I had not been spanked in years! Can you see how humiliating it was to have to drop my pants and my underwear-that's right-bare assed, lay across my mom's lap, and be spanked for something I did not do, something I was able to prove I did not do within 48 hours? Would it have killed her to wait?

Anyway, I am going to try this. It's partly for my husband and child, and not me. If it was just me, I could never see her again and be fine. I hope this does not explode in my face.

Thanks,
Kristin

From Stella:

Kristen,
You really sound like a bright and conscientious soul. After hearing all the morbid details, I can understand why you were so hurt and bitter for so long.

Your Mom was wrong. She made a horrible mistake. And divorce can cause much hurt and confusion for the kids. So yes, you were justified in how you felt. And you obviously still carry a huge load of anger over this.

But the question is, where do you go from here? I really do feel that it would help you for the rest of your life if you sincerely met your Mom half way. Swallow your pride, and when you meet, YOU go first, and tell her you are sorry for shutting her out for so long. YES, YOU GO FIRST.

If you go into the meeting with a huge chip still on your shoulder, it will not work. Don't sabotage this meeting.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with your Mom, and everything to do with you. When you forgive, you do not condone or excuse the behavior of others. You have simply decided to not let it control your emotions or rule your life anymore.

I stand by what I said... forgiveness will set you free, while hate will consume you.

Best of luck to you with your reunion!

Stella

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May 11, 2008
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Submitted by: Kristen

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This is Kristin, who wrote the "evil mom" letter a few days ago. My husband has strongly urged me to at least meet with my mom. You could say he's sort of brokered a peace conference. My mom is flying in on Friday. I knew when I wrote to you that it was the right thing to do. It's just hard. I am nervous about it. The story I told you was the whole story except that my parents had just divorced at the time. But should that have made any difference? The hard part for me was that I had no history of being a problem, yet my mom would not take my word. Her shoot first and ask questions later method pissed me off. It had never been that way before. Also, it was so important to me to clear my name of any wrong doing. I worked for someone once who told me he would not care if I only typed 30 words a minute, but make sure those 30 words are right. That's how I approach life. It's better to measure once, twice, or even three times and cut once. Get it right! It hurt me to be lumped in with juvenile delinquent scumbags. Hell, I had not been spanked in years! Can you see how humiliating it was to have to drop my pants and my underwear-that's right-bare assed, lay across my mom's lap, and be spanked for something I did not do, something I was able to prove I did not do within 48 hours? Would it have killed her to wait? Anyway, I am going to try this. It's partly for my husband and child, and not me. If it was just me, I could never see her again and be fine. I hope this does not explode in my face. Thanks, Kristin <hr> From Stella: Kristen, You really sound like a bright and conscientious soul. After hearing all the morbid details, I can understand why you were so hurt and bitter for so long. Your Mom was wrong. She made a horrible mistake. And divorce can cause much hurt and confusion for the kids. So yes, you were justified in how you felt. And you obviously still carry a huge load of anger over this. But the question is, where do you go from here? I really do feel that it would help you for the rest of your life if you sincerely met your Mom half way. Swallow your pride, and when you meet, YOU go first, and tell her you are sorry for shutting her out for so long. YES, YOU GO FIRST. If you go into the meeting with a huge chip still on your shoulder, it will not work. Don't sabotage this meeting. Forgiveness has nothing to do with your Mom, and everything to do with you. When you forgive, you do not condone or excuse the behavior of others. You have simply decided to not let it control your emotions or rule your life anymore. I stand by what I said... forgiveness will set you free, while hate will consume you. Best of luck to you with your reunion! Stella

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