I am confused...Is she making me work hard for it?

by Vincent
(Baltimore, MD)

I met this girl a year and a half ago. We were both into each other and in turn I got really busy and never called her. I ran into a mutual acquaintance a month or so back and he told me she was still into me. I contacted her and she tried to play it cool but ended up going out with me.

We went on two really good dates and then bam! She started school and things went south quickly. I did not come on too strong but asked her out again, she said it wasn't a good time. Again she had a (stupid her words) birthday party to go to, fine I believed her. Then lastly I told her my schedule and she said Thursday might work.

I don't think she is the type to lead a guy on. She answers my calls and returns my texts. I really like her and don't want to screw things up by getting weird with her. Like I said I know she is busy. So is totally backing off a good idea? Even through this with her being overwhelmed as such, if a girl returns your texts and answers your calls she is still interested right?

On our first dates end, she made a comment about the year and a half thing. I must have hurt her in some way I am sure. So the question is: should I still pursue her. I really want to, she is a Pisces and I am a Scorpio we are both musicians and love interesting things. She is the coolest girl I have ever met. She knows how I feel. I told her I think she is smart, sexy, and cool to be around. I also told her I want to get to know her better. She liked it and said she was sorry she didn't have more time right now but when she gets used to the work load things might be different. So is she making me work at it?

Answer from Stella:

Hi Vincent,

It is really hard to say... she is either not really interested in you... or she is interested but "making you work at it".

Either way, your course of action should be the same. Back off, stay casual, do not push her. Stay friends and continue to ask her out from time to time. Act as if she is a great friend, nothing more (and that's the truth). Quit telling her how cool and sexy she is. Friends first!

If the relationship is supposed to progress from there, let it happen in it's own good time, without urgency.

Good luck and hope this helps!

***Do you agree with Stella's advice? Why or why not? Leave your thoughts below!

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All is due time...
by: Dianna

Hi Vincent,

Timing is everything...if you really like her sit down with her and ASK the question; stop assuming. She may really like you also, but timing may not be right. Take this time and get to know each other with the time you do have together. If you think she "get's you" then be patient...time will surely tell.

Good luck!


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