I don't know what went wrong.

Dear Stella,
I liked this guy for over a year and he never really noticed me. At a party one night, we ended up cuddling and he brought me home and we texted till the early morning. We continued texting for about two weeks and then we finally had our first date. I couldn't believe it because this was a guy I had liked for soooo long. So we had our date and I cooked for him, we watched a movie, we kissed and it was perfect. 4 days later he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I know it happened fast but it felt so right. I was head over heels in love and felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
We had the time of our life for two months and he made me feel so great and loved. After a while I had noticed the look in his eyes changed. He didn't look at me with the same adoration like he used too. When he was with me I was fine but the moment he was gone I became insecure and sad. I just didn't feel loved anymore. He was still really sweet but something about the way he acted made me feel unloved and that wasn't what I was used from him. He continued to behave like that but I just told myself that it was just a temporarely mood swing from him.
A few weeks later he suddenly had to see me. When I enthusiastically kissed him at the door, he turned his cheeck towards me. That broke my heart. I was shaking the entire walk to my room. He sat down and said that he didn't feel it anymore and that he was breaking up with me. It wasn't me, I hadn't done anything wrong or so he said. I just don't know what happened. I wasn't clingy, I let him go out with his friends all the time. I cooked for him, sometimes bought him presents. I was the best version of me with him. It's been four weeks and I tried the no contact thing for three weeks but I broke and talked to him last week. He told me he was over me but that he'll always care for me. I'm just so confused. It's just so hard for me to move on when I don't really understand why we broke up in the first place. At first I thought he might had somebody else but I found out he didn't. A family friend spoke to his parents last week and they told her that they have no clue what had happened between us. We were so nice together and we shared the same interests. I just don't understand how his feelings just went away. We had sex and he was my first and that just makes it worse for me. I'm just looking for some clarity but he doesn't give it to me because the only explanation he'll give me is that his feelings just went away. He's being really nice to me at the moment. He occasionaly asks me if I'm doing okay. Ofcourse I tell him that I'm doing great and I can honestly say that I'm not devestated and have picked up my life right where I left it. But it's really hard because we have the same group of friends and I do miss him sometimes. I just don't know where we went wrong. Can you please explain to me how someone can just lose interest? Or do you you think it might be something else? Any advice would be great. Thank you in advance.

Answer from Stella:

Hi there Anonymous,

Welcome to the school of hard knocks! You didn't say how old you were; however, I think your very young, like in your teenage years. I honestly don't think you should have slept with him so quickly, especially being as you were a virgin. A longer, more drawn out relationship might have made the permanency of your relationship more clear.

I know how very much this hurts, but as they say, "he's just not into you", so DO NOT PURSUE HIM. Time will help soften this one, and I hope you have learned from the experience. Do not engage in sex until you have been dating for quite some time, and you're sure the relationship is solid and serious.

My sympathies, dear, a busted romance at your age can be absolutely devastating.But you sound mature enough to pick up the pieces and carry on with your life.

Hope this helps!

***Do you agree with Stella's advice? Why or why not? Leave your thoughts below!

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Dear Stella.