I go back to someone, that I know I need to move on from...

by Amanda
(Florida)

Dear Stella,

I love Christopher.
But I'm just his toy.
He was my first everything.
Except, he hasn't taken my virginity.
No one has.
But I know he wants it, because he's a bad guy, Stella.
I'm 18, he's 20. He's broken my heart a thousand times.
He's lied and deceived me more than I can count.
When he finally told me he'd been cheating on me with a bunch of girls, we were going to be friends...
But then, a month later, we were hanging out as friends, when he turned it into a date. And then forced himself, despite me saying I didn't want to do anything because I wanted a friendship. Now it's progressing, down the same, catastrophic path it had been going down for the past 3 years...
The other night, I made a mistake. I initiated going too far.
And the problem is, I felt so perfect at the time.
But the next day, I felt a little dumb.
And today, I haven't even spoken to him...
My question is not, "what can I do to make this work?" simply because there is nothing a girl can do when someone is as wrong for her as he is for me. My question is not, "do I put up with this?" because I don't want to.

My question is "How do I get over this infatuation? Before I make another emotional decision, and end up destroyed."

He's charming, Stella. He's slick, he's exciting, and he's dangerous-something I'm not used to. My whole life I've been this good, Virgin-til-marriage, perfect student, beautiful, follow-the-rules girl.
I'm still all of these things, but my emotions are starting to scare me.

How do I separate myself from him?
Keep in mind, he is my best friend's brother, and lives pretty much next door.

I leave for college soon, but I'm scared something bad will happen before I leave. I just want to move on. ;(

____________________________________________

Answer from Stella:

Amanda,
Don't do it!
You know the right thing to do. You are a strong, intelligent girl who knows her own mind. You know he is wrong for you.

Just stop seeing him until you escape to college.
You'll be glad you held out, and got out of a toxic relationship.

Hope this helps!

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