i want him to love me what do i do?

by aaasss

There was guy in my college who was alone and reserved to due to his complex of his weight. I became his friend and helped him out of his problems and we were thick friends. i was in a relationship back then and now broke up due to some problems. after that we became even more close. in college it was just the two of us everywhere and back home we used to constantly keep texting each other or call. we became very close and i eventually fell for him but was scared to express that to him as i was worried that it would spoil our relation even as friends. some months back he started moving with others too a lot more than me and when asked he said he wanted to move with others too so he is. we did have some small problems because of that but that got solved in a day. we've never been without talking to each other for more than a day and our fights would end at the end of the day. i started giving him mixed emotions through texts which he realized and said he dint know how to react.
later in the beginning of this month he proposed me and when asked if he was serious or joking as he always sends "love u" in texts he said it was serious. the next day he said he isn't sure if he would be stable so didn't want the relationship. when i told him that i would make him stable he agreed to it. later again he backed off saying he is scared and worried of what others like his mom, my mom, our friends and my ex think about this as they knew us only as good friends. i was too much into love that i wanted it and kept on bugging him saying we can manage it somehow. but he said he is clear now and doesnt want me as anything more than a friend because of all these and feels that it wont work. he said that i musnt talk about this anymore and he wants us to be back as how we were as friends. when asked if he never loved me he said he does sometimes but doesnt want it. this all happened in 2 weeks continuously after his proposal and now is talking to me like before as friend but at times gives a mixed emotion very rarely and has reduced his texting. i really love him and i want him.. please help me!! how to solve this?

Answer from Stella:

Dear aaasss,

First of all, there is no "solving this". There is nothing you can or should do at this point. My advice to you is to back off completely, and let him stew over it. Bugging him and pushing him for a relationship will not work, and more than likely will push him away.

You know, he doesn't sound like he has things together; one day proposing, the next saying he doesn't even want a romantic relationship! Not sure if he's even worth the time, dear.

But if you are determined that you do love him, back way off and let him make the next move. Stay friendly, cool but detached for a while, and see what happens.

Hope this helps!

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