Im 19 and in love with someone who is 3 years older than me but my family disapproves

by Eunice Joseph
(Brooklyn,NY)

Almost 3 years ago i got out of an abusive relationship, my family never even knew that i was dating, i wasn't allowed to date, so i hid all my relationships from them. My boyfriend now is about to be 21 years old and doesn't have his high school diploma yet, but i don't care about that i care about him as a person he will get it i know that he will hes working on it now. As for me i am about to be 19 year old college sophomore, who is struggling because her family does not understand her. I love him i know this because i catch myself thinking about him more than anything else i find myself smiling every time i hear his name, even my friends can see how much love we each other. he is always making sure i have a smile on my face and that i always have money and that i'm taking care of, even if he does not have much money he always gives me a little something. About 2 years ago i was going through some emotional problems, my relationship with my mom was declining so i decided to go take a retreat, i wrote a letter on the train and i left it with a friend to give my mother when she went to collect my report card. As i was going to the bus i realized that the bus left with out me so i went to my boyfriend house with no intentions of staying but i figured why not, that backfired my mom found my boyfriends number and called him and talked to his mom and sister, from that day on i was never supposed to see or talk to him again, But i couldn't let go it was more than just puppy love. I care about him more than i care for myself i pray for him more than i pray for myself, it came to the point where i cant see my life without him. We have been through so much with my family its amazing that we are about to make 3 years in January. I love him and his family as much as i love my own, I just want to have a common ground see i feel like im going to have to choose soon and i don't want to, i dont think i have to, why cant my family see that im happy. What do i do PLEASE I NEED HELP????????????

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Answer from Stella:

Hi Eunice,
You are 18 and almost 19. This is of legal age to make your own decisions when it comes to a relationship with a man.

You need to look to the future, figure out how to support yourself and cut yourself loose from MoM and Dad. Then you will be free to make your own decisions on who you want to form serious relationships with.

Hope this helps!

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