I'm committed but I'm developing feelings for my best friend!

by Confused soul

Okay. I'm in a BIG problem. I have been committed for the more than 2 years and i really believed that me and my boyfriend were in true love. We love each other like crazy but recently it became a long distance relationship. I'm used to long distance because he's been away for six months earlier too....and i never found it difficult to remain faithful to him. The possibility of being with another guy never even occurred to me.

But. recently after he went away, i became REALLY close to this other guy.... who is my best friend. Me and my boyfriend don't talk much nowadays because of the distance...but i talk to my best friend ALOT.... like we talk every night till 3 in the morning. He confessed to me that if we go on getting closer, he may fall in love with me and that he's addicted to me and can't imagine a day without me. From then on i can't help but think of both of us being together. I still love my boyfriend but i'm so damn confused i don't know what to do. My best friend told me that he will try and control himself because he's going to end up getting hurt because i'm already in a relationship. Few days back, he told me that he has a crush on this girl.... and he tells me he's dreaming about her and how she's extremely beautiful. I feel so JEALOUS! I want him all to myself! I think i'm falling in love with him and i'm so scared..... our friendship might get destroyed.
And of course the problem that i already have a boyfriend.I feel like i'm cheating on him. I feel so guilty....


Answer from Stella:
Dear Confused Soul,

Please reread the title you gave your post. Committed? You really don't sound "committed" to your two-year boyfriend at all. Well, maybe technically, but not in your heart.

My best advice to you is to break off the engagement and date around while you are young. There is plenty of time to make a decision that you'll promise to stick to the rest of your life.

If you have feelings for other men now, even before you are together, a permanent relationship with this man sounds hopeless. Do yourself and him a big favor and postpone any permanent decisions until you are more mature and sure of your feelings.

Hope this helps!

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