In a dilemma reg marriage

by PCK
(india)

Dear stella,
I'm from india. i hv never been in love before. thru a common frn was introduced to a guy. he proposed me after a month as our interests n hobbies were same n i happily acceptd him as v r of same religion n thought thr would b no issues. he is 2 yrs younger to me. i tol my mom that he proposed me n she was like i want u to b happy, if u believe him, u can marry him. n he used to come to our home regularly or daily if i hav to say.

he is very stubborn. he doubts me always n wants to come wherever i go, very over-possessive, he wants to know evrthing abt me.he wants all my gmail n fb passwords. i should not speak to any boy or my uncles,relatives n bro - in laws too. he says i should be your top priority. i should change everything according to his likes from nails to hair styles to dresses to even sandals. always gave me torture physically n emotionally too .always blackmails me if i dont listen to him he would come home in d middle of the night n shout so that everyone gonna wake n talk abt us badly. he treats me very badly n gives me no respect n to other women too.if i refuse to do any of his sayings he used vulgar language. he hurts my self respect.with d kind of words he uses i feel like commiting suicide.his words cuts like a knife. they hurt my soul immensely. calls me character- less n even slapped me on many occasions . i went without food for 3 days on many occasions n cried n even fainted many times. aftr being in relationship for 4yrs of ups n downs n many many patch ups he said that he cant marry me, his parents wont agree etc etc. i was vexed by then.. al his mails n msgs were in my phone. once when i forgot my mobile in my home n left for college my cousin saw all my msgs n even showed it to my uncl n aunts. they were very furious aftr knowing how he ill - treated me. by this time even i was vexed with d relation. my uncles n cousin went to his home n spoke abt d matter. his parents were not willing for d marriage. n they said that their son was not to b blamed, n that he was innocent. my uncl told that he would get some help from a police and filed a peticase (actually it was to b a nirbhaya case cuz even d police officials agreed after checking my mails but my relatives not wanting him to spoil his career filed a peti case ) so that they would give him warning not to meet or come to me or interfere with my life again.

but after a year now, he came running to me saying that his life is miserable without me so i accepted him again only on a condition that he needs to change.its been a month. but now i think that his true nature cant change. he demands always. he has got d same old nature. i dnt know whether i can marry him n live happily or not. but i know that i love him a lot. he is ready to elope n says that he'l leave his parents n everything n he says he is even ready to marry me n tells that no one can ever love me like he does. he has got a govt job n i'm doing my Phd.


When i told the same to my mom, she neither says yes nor no. she left d decision to me. she says its u whos gonna live with him but i can say that ur uncles n al our relatives wont agree. so should i elope n marry him as i love him a lot n get ill-treated n with no respect for the rest of my life . it would be no wonder for me even if he murders me or gives divorce. one thing wt i know is if i marry him in a registrar office n go, if v quarrel or any problm occurs after our marriage my relatives wont help me out saying that it was u who went for him against our words. should i marry him or should i marry a guy whom mom n my relative like n be together as a family???

pls give me an advice. should i marry him or not? Does he really loves me?? he is my 1st love so i dnt wanna miss him in spite of his bad behavior. what advice would u give.. Plss pls help me out.

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