Is he as interested as I am?

by nina
(Lafayette, La.)

About four months ago I met Leonard at a small cocktail lounge where my sister works for extra money. I had talked with him from time to time but never saw him in a romantic way. I usually attracted to the appearance of someone first then proceed with getting to know them. With him I was not immediately attracted to him. Then one night we spoke in depth and I looked in his eyes and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I then invited him to a free dinner with a gift certificate I had been having. We exchanged telephone numbers. Well the Saturday we were to go he called and said he had to work. I was ok with that. He never called me again or I him. Maybe two months later and we spoke like nothing had transpired before. He did say he still had my number programmed in his phone. This made me feel there was hope or he had kept it for a reason. There was definitely attraction.

I could always feel his eyes on me in the lounge if he wasn’t sitting with me and he would go out of his way to get a drink even when that meant going to the other side of the bar where I was sitting. Anyhow that night I told him I wanted to get to know all about him. He said he was afraid I would hurt his heart. I began texting him every morning a “good morning” and a question asking about his life. He never texted a response to the questions and I accepted that. But sometimes he would text me good night, sweet dreams. This went on for about two weeks straight.

I also put an ad in the paper for him which said “Leonard I know there's something between us and I promise not to hurt you”. I text him to pick up the paper to see it a written promise. One night my sister called to tell me he was in the lounge, so I texted him “is there a good song on the juke box”. He never responded. After three hours that night I made a decision to text him “I will not bother you again”, and didn’t text anymore.

About two weeks past and I was in the lounge with a man friend (non romantic) . Leonard came in, said hello and sat down at the furthest end of the bar. I could feel his eyes on me. He also would come to our end of the bar to get his beer. Before I went to bed that night I texted “it probably doesn’t bother you but it bothers me when I see you”.

He texted back “ I miss you too nina”. The immediate Friday I came into the lounge to find him there. He came to hug me and said hello. I sat in the chair beside him and we began to chat about his life and family. Needless to say I was in heaven finally. I told him that that night was the best night. We danced for a couple of hours and he kissed me. He went home and I went home.

I invited him to dinner Saturday night by text and he called me to say he was working late and couldn’t make it. My question to you is “is he interested in me” according to his behavior or am I just kidding myself. I know this is a lengthy story but I do hope you can help me. I haven’t been able to eat because this turmoil keeps me nervous. I think I have really fallen and it could be me alone. Thanks for lending an ear and I hope you will choose to help me.




Answer from Stella:

Nina, let it ride! You have told this man in no uncertain terms that you are interested. If you continue to push the issue, you will drive him away for sure. Desperation is poison to a relationship. Back off. Way off. It's his turn to act, if he is interested. I predict you won't like this advice, but it's how I see it.

Hope this helps!

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