by Jimbo

My wife said she had fallen out of love with me for awhile now. About one month ago she went to my daughters place to stay because she needed some space. We have been married for 28 years now and I am still in love with her. I wrote her a note the other day saying I was fine with the separation for now but I did not want a divorce. We are still friends; what should I do about winning her heart back to get her back? Or maybe I should lay low and let it play out?


Answer from Stella:

Hi Jimbo,
Unfortunately, there is only one thing you can do... and that is wait and hope. It sounds like your wife has pretty much decided that she doesn't love you any more and that your marriage is over in her mind.

You cannot change this by trying to "win her heart back". You can't MAKE her love you again. If you try to force things, you will kill any chance you might have had for reconciliation. Desperation is absolute poison to a relationship.

So what to do? Lay low, be polite. Keep a friendly relationship by contacting her every now and then to see how she is doing. Do not ask her to come back or tell her you love her. Just be a concerned friend, and show class and respect for yourself. And wait.

She may just realize what she has lost and reexamine her feelings for you.

There really is nothing else you can do.

Good luck Jimbo, I wish you better days in the future, one way or the other.

Hope this helps!

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