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: Lookin' for love? Go online! But don't fall into this trap...
Lookin' for love? Go online! But don't fall into this trap...
DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH ONLINE DATING!
Cyber-dating has been stigmatized for a long time. In the
past, dating sites were seen as arenas for the desperate and
lonely. Now, though, online dating has broken out...become
mainstream, an acceptable way for busy singles to meet
others. Everybody's doing it! Some sources claim that over
40% of all single American adults (or 50 million) have tried
So, just by the sheer numbers involved, there are sure to be
a lot of quality people on these dating sites. And the vast
majority of them are just as nice, curious, open, vulnerable,
and "date-less" as you. So approach your fellow online daters
with compassion and a sense of humor. (Do onto others
Cyber-dating may well be a viable option for you, if you go
into it with the right attitude. Realize up front that
online dating is simply a temporary, convenient, superficial
way to be introduced to a lot of other singles in a short
period of time...That's all it is! Always keep in mind that
the computer sitting on your desktop or lap is only a
The internet is wild and wonderful, and has piped into our
homes an amazing, colorful world. There is an almost magical
quality to it, isn't there? And a tendency to think it can
work magic for us, too. Well, it can't! It's only a piece of
hardware. Your computer will not magically turn you into a
popular, confident social animal. Do not look at the internet
as your "Great white hope" of finding your soul mate. If you
go into it with that kind of attitude, you will surely fail!
Instead, think of online dating as simply a means of
introduction. Try it for a limited time, and make it one
small part of your social life. And remember that once you
get past the introduction, and meet face-to-face, you are
back at square one, in the old-fashioned dating game.
So what is the main advantage to online dating? Mystery. The
anonymity of online encounters lets you get your foot in the
door, when otherwise, you might have just been passed by in
real life. A potential date is forced to talk to you first
instead of rejecting you quickly on a superficial physical
level. Anonymity also makes shy people bold! It's easy to
flirt in cyberspace, and seductive in its own right. It
temporarily banishes loneliness, and you can get addicted to
it. The trouble is, it's not real. You aren't really
flirting, you know? You can't kiss through the modem.
Online dating is only a means to an end, which is to find a
suitable dating partner. Don't get caught up in the e-dating
lifestyle permanently. Get beyond the email stage as soon as
mutual interest is clear. And no matter how emotionally
involved you may feel, remember, it is not possible to fall
in love with someone you've never met!
There's simply no way to know if the chemistry is there
without a face-to-face encounter. It's foolish to let an
online "romance" go on and on without meeting. Lots of
emotional investment at risk, and possibly a lot of time
wasted, too. Romance advice columns abound with stories of
hearts broken by investing too much time and energy on a
potential love match that didn't pan out. Don't let this
happen to you.
Get on the phone
get a real date
and you're on your way!
Lonesome? Lookin' for love?
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