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: Dear Stella: Should I Do It?
Dear Stella: Should I Do It?
I met this wonderful man on line. He lives 7 hours away from me. It all began with
a friendly plain conversation. We chatted for a while on line about our problems at
home and our children and spouses. We exchanged photos and continued chatting.
After a few months, we decided to meet, and the sparks grew from there. We talk
on the phone whenever we get an opportunity.
We like each other very much. I can't say I am in love with this man, but he
captured me in some way that I have come to care for him. Nobody knows about us,
I keep him as a secret, but the feeling he brings to me everytime we talk is no
comparison to any other feeling. I am 37, married 17 years, with two teenagers.
He is 33 and has been married 7 years, with a young son.
This man and I plan to meet again for the third time. We plan to show our affection
to one another at that time. I just want to know if this would be a good idea or not.
I have a little feeling of guilt for wanting to have an affair but something in
my heart just tells me to go forward on this.
I have tried to read love stories involving women and men online to get more or
less of an idea where most stories like this one ends but I was not able to find any.
I really would want to get someone's input on this. It would really mean a lot to me.
---Affair guilt in El Paso
Dear Affair guilt,
You did not tell me anything about your husband, or your marriage. Do you love
your husband? Is he your best friend? How would it make you feel if he found
out? Do you not care if your marriage is destroyed? Once the trust is broken,
things would never be the same again.
My advice? Don't do it. If you no longer love your husband and want to get out
of the marriage, then do that first. Then when you are single again, you can
satisfy your thirst for new and exciting romantic love. Don't cheat while married;
no good I can think of can ever come of that. Cheating destroys your integrity
and self respect.
But don't expect that you will live happily ever after with this guy, either. Once the
excitement has died down, will THIS man become your best friend? Will he leave
his wife? And always remember this... a man who cheats is a man who cheats.
I think I've given you a lot of food for thought, but my guess is you'll do this thing
anyway. Just think hard about what you stand to lose... and whether it would be
worth risking it all for a couple of nights of excitement.
Good luck to you!
*** Read more excellent advice to the lovelorn here: Dear Stella
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