Love Problem; parents not accepting

by Vidhya
(Chennai, Tamilnadu, India)

Me & my partner are in love with each other for the past 7 yrs. We both are from different religions. Hence our parents are not at all accepting of us to get married. We tried to convince a lot. But they are very stubborn, especially his mother. Please guide us what to do. How can we convince them? We want to get married asap. Time is going on. We have to start our life now. I am 25 now and he is 26.

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Answer from Stella:
Hi Vidhya,

My heart goes out to you, this is not an easy problem to solve, and I have received several letters like yours from Indian couples whose parents don't approve.

If you lived in the US, my advice would be easy. You are mature adults, well past the age of consent. You do not need your parents permission to get on with your lives. Get married and let the chips fall where they may.

BUT, you live in India, and I am not familiar with your customs. I cannot give the same advice to you, because I have found that your culture is different in this regard, and I cannot trample on your customs and traditions with an "American Answer". I have come to realize that in your country, young adults value and respect their parents opinions much more than we do. And unfortunately, the parents do not readily accept marrying outside the religion, which is commonplace here in the states. So you are stuck, like many others I have heard from.

You two will have to decide together whether to accept my American advice "from the heart", and marry anyway; or go with your parents wishes and split up.

No easy answer here, I am sorry.
Hope this helps!

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