Love sick ( this one is a real MESS)

by Beth
(Nicholasville,ky-USA)

Hi guys, I have been dating a woman and in a lesbian relationship with her. We live a distance away and it's fairly hard to see each other. I have been in her life as well me in her's for 15 months. We have promised each other that she would come to be with me soon.

My girl has a lot of family matters right now and have been with her since the beginning of our relationship. It's family matters from one issue to the next to take care of. In the beginning, we were hit hard with our feelings for each other and made some very serious promises for the future together.

I have done so many things to get ready at my home for them to move in. I have painted totally inside the house, given things away, bought a wonderful diamond ring and placed it on her finger back in March of 09 and asked her to be mine when everything is all together.

My girl is now having some health issues with her heart because of all the stress she under now. She is a "cancer" and to the world, she is a care giver to her ex husband who is in very poor health and a daughter who is expecting her first baby this Oct.

How do I continue to fit in to this or rescue her from this mess? The reason I say mess is all they care about is themselves and I have been told this from her. Back in the beginning I received such soulful e-mails telling me that I'm the light in her tunnel and that she will be with me soon. She has asked for a job transfer but no luck on that just yet.

I'm worried sick about her and afraid that I may lose my soulmate. Lately I haven't received the phone calls as much as I did before, please tell me what I can do to rescue my girl I love her. Thanks so much... helpless with this.

--------------------------------------

From Stella:

Dear Beth,
Your girl comes with an awful lot of "baggage"! And for all her protests and criticisms about her "family", my guess is she will not leave them.

Maybe you should quit making any more sacrifices or changes to your home until you see how this plays out. It sounds like you want to remove her from her "mess" and have her all to yourself.

Unfortunately, even if she does leave her home town, all that baggage will come with her, you can count on it. Can you deal with all that?