LOVE STEP 6 - TIPS ON DATING
TIPS ON DATING (MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF...)
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Tips on dating ... |
All right, now, you've come a long way,
baby. And now you're ready...
get back into the trenches... and into the dating game!
TIPS
ON DATING 
YOUR DATING STRATEGY
Tips on dating ...
Before you jump right in there, step back
and take a look at the big
picture...and remember these three things ...
1. This is a long-term project that
might take months...
even years... so trust and be patient. Do NOT sit
there at the table on your first date wondering if
the kids will have your brown eyes or his blue ones!
2. Lighten up--keep a sense of humor
about the dating
process, and
laugh at yourself. Have fun and you'll
be fun. And irresistible!
3. The most effective way to attract a
true love is to
become a loving person yourself. And first priority
is
to forgive and love yourself. Because the thing
that will ultimately attract a
quality partner to you
is how you feel about yourself.
Got your head on straight? Great! Now
let's plan your dating
strategy...
Date more than one person at a time.
Why? Why not? You are free and
single, uncommitted. You don't owe allegiance or monogamy to anyone...
(yet). Keep multiple avenues open. This increases your chances of
finding the right mate. It's that numbers thing, you know?

And, dating multiple partners will keep
you from being lonely or
desperate. You won't pin all your hopes on one person. You won't
be devastated when HE doesn't call again. Big deal! Let it go and on
to the next one!
Relax and have fun. Meet new people.
Expand your options...
And don't forget your resolution... to get out there three times a week.
TIPS ON DATING- A CALLING CARD

NO, THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU A CALL GIRL
Tips on dating ...
This is a must-have. A clever and
unassuming way to give a guy your
phone number. Much classier than scribbling on a matchbook cover or cocktail
napkin.
You need your very own calling card... And guys, this will work very well for
you, too. Girls can pick up the phone too, you know.
Everybody has a skill or hobby that could
be made into a "business
card". What's yours? Start with your profession. Could you make a
business card with a logo, based on nursing, or bookkeeping or lawn
care? Are you an expert on orchids or watercolors or dog training?
Get creative. Come up with something unusual if you want...
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JENNY HARPER
TAROT READER
EXTRAORDINAIRE
(931) 567-0034 |
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It's a snap to make these things on your
computer. Just go into the
office supply depot, and ask them for Avery business card sheets.
They come in a pack with directions to download the necessary free
software, right on the back. Easy, inexpensive and fun!
Print up a bunch, then... drop your card with the best of
them!
TIPS ON DATING

IN THE THICK OF IT...PARTY
TIME!
Tips on dating ...
Okay, we promised you some dating do's &
don'ts... and here they
are... (boy, did we have fun with these... what a trip down memory lane).
- DON'T leave for your date without
looking in the mirror... for spinach in your teeth, UFOs in your nose, and
deodorant marks on your sweater. Something that simple can bushwhack his first... and lasting...
impression of you.
- DO brush your teeth, then gargle
with lemon juice (gets rid of even the most ghastly garlic breath). Guys,
absolutely stellar hygiene! Check your fingernails!
- DON'T wear too much makeup or
perfume. Or show too much cleavage. Or bra straps. Or runs in your stockings.
Hopefully not a problem for you guys.
- DO be on time. Meet him there.
Drive separately.
- DON'T eyeball or flirt with other
men, especially the waiter. Guys, don't flirt with the waitress or ogle busty
patrons (unless it's your date!).
- DO leave your cell phone in the
car. And your watch.
- DON'T order lobster thermidor
and a bottle of Mouton Cadet if your date is having soup & salad bar with iced tea.
Unless you can afford to pay your own check. Even so...
- DO make frequent eye contact (with
your date), and learn to listen twice as long as you talk.
- DON'T talk with your mouth
full. Keep your elbows off the table. Drop a napkin in your lap. Your Ma was
right on this one.
- DON'T be rude to the waiter, or make fun of people, or make sexist or racist remarks.
- DO try to keep the conversation
light and breezy. This is not the time to tell him how your bankruptcy is coming along, cry
over your last boyfriend, or whine about how your biological clock is
ticking...
- DON'T talk about the following
things, especially on a first date...
--Don't argue about politics, religion
or sex. Or sports.
--Don't talk about clothing, makeup,
hair, how
long it took, how you look, how big your ass is,
or how tough your diet is... leave your vanity
in the vanity.
--Don't whine about how slow the
service is, how
small the portions are or how the steak is
better at Outback.
--Don't talk about money---yours or
his.
--Don't talk about how well your new
anti-
depressant is working.
--Don't tell him that your brother is
finally
getting out of prison next month.
--Don't tell him how hard it is to
keep the litter
box clean with four cats in the house.
--Don't reveal
anything about
your past sex
life-- how many, how long it's been, unsavory
past occupations, social diseases or your
afternoon delight with the refrigerator
repair guy.
--And above all, don't drink too much,
spill your
guts, cry, and tell him you think he's your
new soul mate.
TIPS ON DATING

THE MORNING AFTER
Tips on dating ...
Date's over...and whatcha doin? Waitin'
by the phone? Forget it,
Honey. Time to realign your attitude again. It's okay if and when you
see him again. You will NOT obsess about this, no matter how hot he
was...

If you find yourself changing your plans or forbidding other people
to use the phone just because he MIGHT call... give it up... relinquish
control... let things happen in their own good time. And your Mom was
right here, too... there are plenty of fish in the sea !

And if you do have one calling back,
don't be available all the time!
It's not necessary for you to account for all your hours apart. He
will chase you harder if you're a bit elusive. So, instead of jumping
on that phone, let it keep on ringing sometimes. Dishonest? Nah, just
smart!
"A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run. Sit still
and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet"---
Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922
TIPS ON DATING

THE REAL
MORNING AFTER... (SEX?)
Tips on dating ...
Alright, did you do it? Did you sleep
with him? Did you think this
would bond him to you? Hook him? Make him hungry for more?
Well, it won't. You probably already know
this if you've had one-night
stands before. They never last, and actually ruin things that could've
been super. So why did you do it? Some deep ingrained thing women
have-- this hope that you can hold him with sex and little else.
Men really are hunters. They love the
chase. True, they also enjoy
the capture. But then, the hunt is over! And your phone won't ring.
Never become intimate with a man until you have become emotionally
attached to one other. You'll be tempted to give yourself to him sexually,
hoping that causes him to become emotionally involved. But, once
again, it just doesn't work that way. Most men can enjoy a wild night
of sex with you, with lots of hugging and kissing, then, once satisfied,
they can just walk away from the situation.
Now, maybe we are
generalizing, and there are some kind, sensitive
males out there,
who'd never think of taking advantage of tender
and vulnerable you...

But we are talking from years of
experience here, and it's a sad but
true fact: Most men can easily separate sex from love, and most
women can't! Heed this one bit of advice and save yourself a lot of
heartache.
Give this thing some time. A long time. Like 3
or 4 months. Yeah, right!
Do you have anything to lose by trying this strategy? Give things time
to cool down, and for you both to regain your senses. Did he actually
stick around even though you said "NO"? Heavens! Later on,
when
you can honestly say "I love you" to one another, then that's the time
to consider a deeper level of intimacy...
For a more detailed discussion about sex
in a committed relationship,
drop into our section on keeping love, and visit
The Sensuous Woman.
TIPS ON DATING

SUGGESTED READING...CHECK IT OUT
"Dating 101: The Instant Cure for Romance Blues"
-by Melissa Darnay & Zella Case
Interesting and practical guide written by two professional
matchmakers. The premise here is that a woman must operate from
a position of strength in order to find a happy, lasting relationship.
Cuts through the psych mumbo jumbo and right to the thick of the
chase!
"How to Make Someone love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less"
,
-by Nicholas Boothman
This book is not nearly as silly as
the title sounds. Included are
exercises to help improve your attitude, posture, poise, and "star
quality". How to approach strangers, conversation starters, how to
ask for a date, active listening, body language, promoting chemistry...
a very specific how-to guide.
"How to Make Anyone Fall In Love With You"
,
-by Leil Lowndes
This book would be more aptly titled "How
to Make Somebody Fall In Love With You". The guide, with solid wisdom and
scientific support, is to help you "make things happen" when you've
already found a potential love partner.
Tips on dating ...
We are all readers here at FL-KL. We
believe in the power of books!
What a great way to perpetuate your lifelong education!
For more great books with dating tips & advice on love and romance,
go ahead on to Step
7, The Love Workshop.