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LOVE STEP 6 - TIPS ON DATINGTIPS ON DATING (MAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF...)
All right, now, you've come a long way, baby. And now you're ready...
get back into the trenches... and into the dating game! TIPS ON DATING
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JENNY HARPER
It's a snap to make these things on your computer. Just go into the office supply depot, and ask them for Avery business card sheets. They come in a pack with directions to download the necessary free software, right on the back. Easy, inexpensive and fun!
Print up a bunch, then... drop your card with the best of them!
TIPS ON DATING
IN THE THICK OF IT...PARTY TIME!
Tips on dating ...
Okay, we promised you some dating do's & don'ts... and here they are... (boy, did we have fun with these... what a trip down memory lane).
- DON'T leave for your date without looking in the mirror... for spinach in your teeth, UFOs in your nose, and deodorant marks on your sweater. Something that simple can bushwhack his first... and lasting... impression of you.
- DO brush your teeth, then gargle with lemon juice (gets rid of even the most ghastly garlic breath). Guys, absolutely stellar hygiene! Check your fingernails!
- DON'T wear too much makeup or perfume. Or show too much cleavage. Or bra straps. Or runs in your stockings. Hopefully not a problem for you guys.
- DO be on time. Meet him there. Drive separately.
- DON'T eyeball or flirt with other men, especially the waiter. Guys, don't flirt with the waitress or ogle busty patrons (unless it's your date!).
- DO leave your cell phone in the car. And your watch.
- DON'T order lobster thermidor and a bottle of Mouton Cadet if your date is having soup & salad bar with iced tea. Unless you can afford to pay your own check. Even so...
- DO make frequent eye contact (with your date), and learn to listen twice as long as you talk.
- DON'T talk with your mouth full. Keep your elbows off the table. Drop a napkin in your lap. Your Ma was right on this one.
- DON'T be rude to the waiter, or make fun of people, or make sexist or racist remarks.
- DO try to keep the conversation light and breezy. This is not the time to tell him how your bankruptcy is coming along, cry over your last boyfriend, or whine about how your biological clock is ticking...
- DON'T talk about the following things, especially on a first date...
--Don't argue about politics, religion or sex. Or sports.
--Don't talk about clothing, makeup, hair, how
long it took, how you look, how big your ass is,
or how tough your diet is... leave your vanity
in the vanity.
--Don't whine about how slow the service is, how
small the portions are or how the steak is
better at Outback.
--Don't talk about money---yours or his.
--Don't talk about how well your new anti-
depressant is working.
--Don't tell him that your brother is finally
getting out of prison next month.
--Don't tell him how hard it is to keep the litter
box clean with four cats in the house.
--Don't reveal anything about your past sex
life-- how many, how long it's been, unsavory
past occupations, social diseases or your
afternoon delight with the refrigerator
repair guy.
--And above all, don't drink too much, spill your
guts, cry, and tell him you think he's your
new soul mate.
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Guys! 7 things you should never mention on a first date.
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Girls! 7 things YOU should never mention on a first date.
- DO thank him (or her) and tell them you had a great time.
- DON'T have plans for after the date (so you can carry on if things go well)... but don't go to his house, either.
- DO read 4 tips on how to wrap up a great date (and get another)
TIPS ON DATING
THE MORNING AFTER
Tips on dating ...
Date's over...and whatcha doin? Waitin' by the phone? Forget it, Honey. Time to realign your attitude again. It's okay if and when you
see him again. You will NOT obsess about this, no matter how hot he
was...
If you find yourself changing your plans or forbidding other people
to use the phone just because he MIGHT call... give it up... relinquish
control... let things happen in their own good time. And your Mom was right here, too... there are plenty of fish in the sea !
And if you do have one calling back,
don't be available all the time!
It's not necessary for you to account for all your hours apart. He will chase you harder if you're a bit elusive. So, instead of jumping
on that phone, let it keep on ringing sometimes. Dishonest? Nah, just
smart!
"A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run. Sit still
and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet"---
Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men, 1922
TIPS ON DATING
THE REAL MORNING AFTER... (SEX?)
Tips on dating ...
Alright, did you do it? Did you sleep with him? Did you think this would bond him to you? Hook him? Make him hungry for more?
Well, it won't. You probably already know this if you've had one-night stands before. They never last, and actually ruin things that could've been super. So why did you do it? Some deep ingrained thing women have-- this hope that you can hold him with sex and little else.
Men really are hunters. They love the chase. True, they also enjoy the capture. But then, the hunt is over! And your phone won't ring.
Never become intimate with a man until you have become emotionally
attached to one other. You'll be tempted to give yourself to him sexually, hoping that causes him to become emotionally involved. But, once again, it just doesn't work that way. Most men can enjoy a wild night of sex with you, with lots of hugging and kissing, then, once satisfied, they can just walk away from the situation.
Now, maybe we are
generalizing, and there are some kind, sensitive
males out there,
who'd never think of taking advantage of tender and vulnerable you...
But we are talking from years of experience here, and it's a sad but true fact: Most men can easily separate sex from love, and most women can't! Heed this one bit of advice and save yourself a lot of heartache.
Give this thing some time. A long time. Like 3 or 4 months. Yeah, right! Do you have anything to lose by trying this strategy? Give things time to cool down, and for you both to regain your senses. Did he actually stick around even though you said "NO"? Heavens! Later on, when you can honestly say "I love you" to one another, then that's the time to consider a deeper level of intimacy...
For a more detailed discussion about sex in a committed relationship, drop into our section on keeping love, and visit The Sensuous Woman.
TIPS ON DATING
SUGGESTED READING...CHECK IT OUT
"Dating 101: The Instant Cure for Romance Blues"
-by Melissa Darnay & Zella Case
Interesting and practical guide written by two professional matchmakers. The premise here is that a woman must operate from a position of strength in order to find a happy, lasting relationship.
Cuts through the psych mumbo jumbo and right to the thick of the
chase!
"How to Make Someone love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less"
-by Nicholas Boothman
This book is not nearly as silly as the title sounds. Included are exercises to help improve your attitude, posture, poise, and "star quality". How to approach strangers, conversation starters, how to ask for a date, active listening, body language, promoting chemistry...
a very specific how-to guide.
"How to Make Anyone Fall In Love With You"
-by Leil Lowndes
This book would be more aptly titled "How to Make Somebody Fall In Love With You". The guide, with solid wisdom and scientific support, is to help you "make things happen" when you've already found a potential love partner.
Tips on dating ...
We are all readers here at FL-KL. We believe in the power of books!
What a great way to perpetuate your lifelong education!
For more great books with dating tips & advice on love and romance,
go ahead on to Step 7, The Love Workshop.
