We quizzed our favorite long-surviving couples for advice about love, relationships and long-term happiness... and offer up their tidbits here for you to ponder...
Great, common-sense long term relationship advice...
Focus on the positive... try to think more about what you like about your partner than dislike. What do you enjoy about your life together?
Never break the trust, no matter how tempted. It won't be worth it. Once that precious trust is broken, things will never be the same... In that same vein, don't let unfounded jealousy eat up your precious time together. Banish the Green-Eyed Monster from your relationship with this great article: A Cure For Jealousy!
Give each other space, and time alone... everyone needs this type of space, without explanation. Keep some of your own friends, interests and activities. You're not joined at the hip, you know. And cling to your own opinions, religious beliefs and political leanings. You don't have to think alike. Celebrate your differences, and accept each other's limitations.
Mutual respect... treat your mate as you would a good friend... this means no snooping in his mail, wallet, pockets or emails. Don't ask him for his password. Be courteous and say "please" and "thank you" to one another. And don't forget "I'm sorry", too.
Try something new together; a new hobby or activity. Fresh interests add excitement, and keeps your minds active and involved. Familiarity breeds contempt! Get out of your ruts!
Communication is the key... Yeah, we know, he hates to talk... You needn't talk your relationship to death. But when things start to build up... like anger or resentment... de-fuse it by sitting down and talking... when there's no anger or alcohol involved. (Ramp up the communication between you two with our most excellent Relationship Compatibility Test)
Also, don't hide behind the newspaper (or computer) every day. It's important to take 15-20 minutes at dinner or before sleep to just share pleasant things from your day.
Stay alluring... Will he still love you as a full-figured gal? Probably. But would he love it more if you stayed trim and attractive? You bet he would! It's a sad fact that one of the reasons men stray or leave the picture altogether, is they lose physical attraction to their mate. Maybe it's not fair... but we're talking reality here. It's that sex thing again...
Nag, nag, nag! You may not even realize you're doing it... it's such a natural thing to do, especially if you're a mother, too. Do NOT scold or nag your guy. He is not a child, so don't treat him like one. Do you really want to be his mother? Nagging is a sure way to douse the flames of passion.
Read Randy Hicks' views on commitment in a love relationship: About Marriage... (Pretty thought-provoking stuff!)
Mama was right again... you can't change a man! Don't even try to. If there's something about him you just can't stand ... better think twice about continuing the relationship. It won't get better, only worse. You won't change it. The glow of early love ALWAYS dims, you know. You'd better really, really, really like and love him in the beginning, if there's any chance for a long and happy future together.
Cherish the moments! Make a concerted effort to live in the now and enjoy the God-given gift of a loving partner. Don't take him for granted. That snoring that drives you crazy now... well, you may just be longing for that sweet sound sometime down the road!
Housework... share it! Nothing builds up resentment like a one-sided workload. Split the chores up. Decide on a fair plan, then back off. Let him do it his own way. No one appointed you keeper of the castle...
Overwhelmed by all these "rules"? Then grab this quick guide to growing a lasting love relationship: 6 Simple Steps.
Are you a fan of true romance stories? Want to read some great short tales of love gone right? Take your pick from our growing collection of True Love Stories.
Now, the most important ingredient of all... a recurring theme with all the couples we interviewed... ROMANCE... Both of you must take the time and make the effort to delight your lover... through gestures that let them know they are the most important thing in your life.
It's not easy, we know... you fall into comfortable little habits, take him for granted, and often find yourself too darn tired to work at keeping the fire burning. Well, look at it this way... if you don't stoke the fire at regular intervals, IT'LL BURN OUT!!!
Now, you don't have to spend a fortune on this, either... small thoughtful gestures count... pick up a book or CD you think he'd enjoy, surprise him with a heart-shaped box of chocolates... greet him home from work in the bedroom, with nothing on but a smile. Guys, write her a love poem from the heart, send her roses at work for no special occasion at all...present her with a stuffed teddy bear... rub her feet when she's tired. There's an infinite variety of ways to help keep romance alive. We have presented here in our website lots of great ideas to get you started.... Now it's your turn...
STOKE THEM FIRES EVERY DAY!!!
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