Me or the Dog

by Stephanie Shumway
(Dillon, Co)

Pic by Ed.

Pic by Ed.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We have a great relationship with only one problem: his dog.

He is utterly convinced that his dog is the sweetest thing ever. However, she is thoroughly untrained. You have to tell her continuously to do something and maybe half the time she does it. The dog has a history of aggression.

His ex had a puppy that tried to play with her toys and she nearly ripped him apart, and my boyfriend's thumb got ripped apart by his dog when he broke up the fight.

She has also charged my mom's cat when she was sniffing around her bed, and bit my kitten for doing the same thing. His response was "no dog is perfect, she has her character flaws."

He's also told me that it was unfair for me to come into the relationship and dislike his dog (aka to him as "his kid") and that he would choose his dog over me.

This is our only major problem and it's keeping the relationship at a standstill. He has also admitted that if it weren't for this problem, then he would marry me.

I've tried to get over it but I cannot trust this dog and he never takes any steps toward fixing the problem, insisting that I'm the one with the problem. I'm stuck at what to do. Help!

Comments for Me or the Dog

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People come first...
by: Stella

Dear Stephanie,

I am a little biased here. I love animals, and have had many dogs and cats over my lifetime. Most of them add a new and interesting dimension to your life. But in my way of thinking, people should always come first.

For this man to tell you that he would choose this nasty, ill-tempered beast over you shows a total lack of tact and maturity. Are you willing to take a back seat to a dog the rest of your life if you marry him? (Because when this one dies, there will be another, you know).

I do believe you have unwittingly given the solution to your own problem in your title, "Me or the dog". This is a sad situation, but honestly, it indicates some much deeper and serious issues in your relationship.

Think twice before marrying this guy. I'm so sorry, but the truth hurts. Good luck to you.

Stella
Neither
by: Anonymous

My BF claimed being close to asking me to marry him until I told him his "beasts" wouldn't work for me. One chronically barks, the other pees, shits and has ruined shoes clothing and work materials. My BF minimized how I feel and said if he had to choose between the dogs and I, it would be the dogs. So, good to know. I can't bear them anymore. He clearly was full of shit when he said he wanted to marry ME. HE WANTS TO MARRY HIS BEASTS. So, I'm emotionally detaching myself. Its a WIN WIN situation because he still has the untrained beasts and I get to find someone who loves me and validates me. Thing is, I love dogs, his are terrible.
me too!
by: Anonymous

Had the same thing happen several years back. He was a great guy....except for his 2 stupid, filthy dogs! They ruined shoes, Birkenstocks, which aren't cheap. They ATE my underwear! ATE them! Tore up brand new tops, etc. His response was, "if you don't want your stuff ruined, put it up away from them. Un-freaking-believable! Like it was MY fault that his vermin had NO MANNERS! I've seen 2 year old children who behave better than that. Needless to say, I wasted not one minute more on this guy. Now I'm with a great guy who doesn't like dogs, and it's been FABULOUS!!!
4 Bad Dogs
by: Anonymous

I have always had dogs and really enjoy them. However, they were always obedience trained, not allowed on the furniture, and definitely did not pee or poo in the house (unless they were sick).

So, when I met my BF, who had 4 little dogs and doted on them, things seemed great. 6 months later, we combined households and I found out what angels they truly were not. There was instantly poo and pee on furniture, mattresses, floors, etc on a regular basis. The excuse was "they are little dogs with little bladders." These dogs give you a blank look if you say come, sit, stay, no - whatever. No training at all. They have destroyed all of his sofas and chairs. They rub their butts and faces all over my persian carpet. One has big anxiety melt downs when daddy has a business trip. He barks, tore up the kitchen floor, broke dishes and generally goes on the rampage.

Best of best, is that recently I have made an effort to encourage him to walk the dogs to tire them out. He works from home, so they are together all day every day. So, I take one dog and he takes one, then we come back and take the other two. Well, I have been told I do not cook their food properly (boneless chicken breast), drag them by the neck with the leash and abuse them, and kick them (by gently using my toe to ask the dog to sit). All we ever argue about is his dogs. They are dirty and smelly. He does not clean up after them, but expects I will. I take allergy shots for dogs so have been able to ban them entirely from the bedroom. We now argue about these dogs almost every weekend. I have been labeled "abusive" because I think they need some training. He picks them up and kisses them and loves on them constantly. Me? well, let's just say that there is no "love and affection" going on any longer. So, it looks like this man is addicted to his dog relationship, and is perfectly willing after 2 years to break this off to be with them. At least I did not marry him. Oh, and there have been times when the dogs get boneless chicken breast, but we have eggs, because we are out of grocery money. Seriously!

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