Miss In a Quandary...
I have been in love with my boyfriend for 2 years. We had a good relationship, he was supportive and I was telling myself that he was my future husband. We never fight, and never have misunderstanding conversations. But recently I found a picture of a girl inside his phone. When I asked him, he told me that is his child`s mother. Yes, all the time I knew that he has a child with another woman, but they had broken up a long time ago, before we met.
Then he told me that he decided go back to his child's mother because he was afraid that he might not have another child (the doctor told him so) and I asked him, "What about me?"
He said he can't be with two women at the same time. After that, I let him go. After a week, he called me and said that we need to talk about our relationship, so I did give him chance to come and talk. He said he went to his ex because I am not treating him the way he wants to be treated. He said he loves me very much, he thought maybe I wanted to dump him, but he was surprised when I started crying for him after he told me all this story.
He says he loves both of us the same way, and he doesn't know who to choose. I was worried, because he knew that I was pregnant with his baby. After a few weeks, he gave me money to go and have an abortion because the traditional doctor told him that I was carrying a dead baby. So I got afraid, and had the abortion, and now I am so stressed about that.
So he was on
holiday and he promised me that when he come back he will decide between us, who is the best woman for him. So my problem is that I don't know what to do if he chooses that girl over me; but I also am not feeling comfortable if he chooses me.
But i do love him with all of my heart. Since in my life I have never met a guy like him; he is so loving, caring and supportive. I thought to move on is the best idea, but I was wrong, because the second guy I found now he told me that he has a girlfrind and I must not call him after 1900, he will call me when he gets time. So I don't know what to do any more, I need advice. Thank you, Kwena
Answer from Stella:
I believe you do need advice, and this is my best shot:
Detach yourself emotionally for a moment and look at these two men in your life right now: liars and cheats! Your first boyfriend is NOT loving, caring and supportive! He cheated on you with his ex, tricked you into having an abortion, and is now holding you on a string just in case things don't go right with the other girl. And your new guy is a cheating skunk. DUMP EM BOTH, AND NOW!
Just because these two stink doesn't mean there isn't a good man out there for you. I suggest you take a break from all men for a while, find and learn to love yourself first, then maybe you will be ready to find a good man who treats you with respect.
Hope this helps!
***Do you agree with Stella's advice? Why or why not? Leave your thoughts below!