Moving into my fiance's house

by Dianna
(Washington)

Hi Stella,

I'm a very self-sufficient woman who owns two properties in the DC area. My fiance also owns three. Two years ago we went house looking and I found a perfect home FSBO and a great price. We broke up during the negotiations and he subsequently purchased "our" home. Well later we got back together and engaged after he tried for over a year to reconcile. Prior to being engaged I've always stated how difficult it would be to move into "his" house and we should have "our" house. He assured me it would be "our" house. Now its been six months and all he talks about is "his" house.

The issue. In order for me to feel secure, I want to be on the mortgage and deed to the house. I don't want anyone saying, this is my house, you need to leave. I have agreed to "buy" my way in as he has prescribed by making a substantial contribution - central AC in a 6 bed 4 level home in DC.

We are at a cross road. He refuses to put me in the deed until I match his down payment and two years of mortgage. I think he is being greedy and not loving. Mind you, I completely furnished the house and did complete landscaping (jewel of the neighborhood) and banking my salary to pay for the wedding, used my vacation package and AMEX points of the honeymoon. I don't mind being invested and vested but I do mind the 50/50 prove yourself concept.

HELP...I'm frustrated, don't feel secure, and thinking about cancelling the wedding!

Dian

___________________________________

Answer from Stella:
Hi Dian,

Your letter sounds much more like the financial negotiations of two businesses than the hopeful and happy musings of a couple in love.

My advice to you: get a lawyer, get a pre-nuptial agreement, and/or cancel the wedding. You haven't even married and you are arguing over money! Doesn't look good from this angle.

Hope this helps!

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Comments for Moving into my fiance's house

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Not a good start
by: Anonymous

Get rid. I'm in similar situation and can't stand the thought of life being like this forever, your suppose to be a team. This is why I am now looking for a new place so I can move out asap. Good luck.

not good
by: Anonymous

Love means putting the other person before yourself. He should want your name on the deed in case anything ever happened to him. He should not be asking for money but giving freely to you out of the desire to make you happy and to share his life with you. Sounds to me that he is not truly in love with anyone but himself. He will not become less selfish over time, only more so. It is better to cut your losses and find real love. Someone who would buy you the house and put only your name on it. Just a thought.

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