My girlfriend doesn't trust me and has now left me

by Michael
(Oak Hill, WV USA)

The title pretty much says it all. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and I love her more than anything on this Earth. I would give up everything I ever owned for this girl, I would even give my life for her.

But despite this, she has said I couldn't be trusted, and she left me. She constantly accused me of cheating on her, though I have never been unfaithful to anyone. I can't find the power to cheat on someone I'm with. I believe a relationship should be 100% monogamous on both sides.

The reason she left was she found an email I had written to an online friend that said "Well I miss you and hope to see you soon", which I meant purely as " see you online soon" as in, talk to you soon. Well, my girlfriend had been sneaking on to my email accounts and reading everything, spying on me. She found this and stated that this was grounds for leaving.

I have no real-life female friends, only a couple online that I've chatted with for years. I do not persue any online dating or romance of any sort and that is not why I speak to them. It's simply to talk to someone because I don't have many friends in my normal life.

However, my girlfriend has a multitude of male friends. The day she left me in fact, she spent with a male friend of hers. She says that she has been faithful, though, and they are merely friends.

So my question is, what do I do? I love this girl with all of my heart as I said before. I'd walk through the fires of hell for her. The idea of her just walking out on me, under the accusation that I was unfaithful, has devastated me, so now I come to you, with no where else to turn, seeking some form of advice if you would be so kind as to provide it?

Thank you.

----------------------------------------------------------

FROM STELLA:

Dear Michael,

I strongly suspect that she was going to break up with you anyway, she just picked this excuse to justify her actions. Honestly, from an outside viewpoint, that's how I see it. I think she has moved on. Sorry to be blunt, and I know you are hurting, but chances don't sound good for a future with her.

My advice: let her go. Lie low and don't press things with her. Try to carry on with your life and turn to other interests for a while. Perhaps with some time and space away from you, she will discover her true feelings. If you two belong together, she will come back to you, if not, she won't. I know this sounds trite, but in your case, I believe it fits.

Good luck to you,
Stella

Comments for My girlfriend doesn't trust me and has now left me

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I have been there also
by: Anonymous

I know how you feel Michael, as I spent over 6 years with someone. He never trusted me all the time we were together. He would follow me to see where I was going, check up on me if I wasn't where I should be, listen while I talked on the phone (be it friends or family) and always put his two cents worth in.

I never cheated or gave him any reason to think that. I not only loved him, I was "in love" with him. Most of our time together was fun, but only if it had something to do with him, my needs or wants were not important to him.

As you said, you would walk over hot coals for this special girl if she wanted you too. I felt the same way about my man. We are no longer together. He decided after I had to move out of my home to a small place that he no longer had use for me. Then he told the story about how I cheated on him (I didn't, never thought to and never wanted to). It just made it easy to get out of our relationship.

This man never loved me, he never cared for anyone but himself, and he used me. I will "Never" take him back; after many, many, tears and anger for the last 5 months. I have moved on and met a wonderful man. I am just taking things slow with him for awhile,I can't trust to fall in love again only to be hurt once more.

Sorry dude
by: Anonymous

I've been through almost the same. I don't have any female friend in real life or online, but when I'm playing video games online it should be okay to talk a little and interact with everyone right? Wrong for me...

Your ex probably wanted to leave you for a while, bringing up not trusting you so much...

Move on while you still can, don't get caught up inside, it will eat away at you, believe me.

I know what it's like having a girlfriend with lots of guy friends... You're left with no one but your mates because you don't have any friends that are girls but you don't care, but your girlfriend still thinks ill of you.

Do yourself a favour and move on, I have a feeling your ex hates or hated you.

Sorry dude.

She didn't like the tables turned huh?
by: Anonymous

She wanted her cake and eat it too.. You stated she has many male friends, yet she had a problem with you having a female friend???? The old saying what's good for the goose blah blah..

This sounds like a very unflexible self centered woman. What you should of done was act like nothing and start hangin out with many women and REALLY DO IT! and have fun, then see what happens?! There are too many women out there that are respectful and honorable!?

KICK HER TO THE CURB DUDE AND STOP BEING A GROVELING WUSSY! Never show jealousy, it only does opposite what you want!

There are alot of women out there that know what it takes to keep a healthy relationshop going.. Why would you want to be with a selfish double standard no integrity woman anyway, love works two ways??????????????

same here 11/11/09
by: Ryan B. Davao City Phil.

I felt the same with his situation. Today she broke up with me. We been through our relationship for 8 years. A very stupid reason to break up. My girlfriend always monitor me every night. She always call on my phone asking where am I right now. And I answer "I'm here at my friend's store hanging out" (the store is few blocks away from our house). And she said to me "Why always with your friends? I think you're much happier with your friend, you don't respect me Ryan, I told you do not hang out with your friends. I had enough of you, let's end this up."

she doesn't listen to my explanation. I'm really confused right now. I love her so much. But why is this happening? :(:(:(

Ammo
by: jek

My girl kept saying that she doesn't trust me but doesn't know why. It's a feeling she gets. Many times she questioned our relationship and said things like she wasn't good for me. I was very patient and kind to her. I listened and understood, learned about relationships, did nice things, but now I'm waiting for her to email me back after she sent me a text that said 'I hope you have a good life. I'll mail you your stuff.'

I think it's because she was molested by her father as a kid. If she can't trust her own father then who can she trust? She gets along well/made peace with her father, so she says. But what about me? What have I done? I love her so much but I hope she doesn't come back to me, because i don't know if my heart and mind can take any more. I can't get her out of my mind. I feel like a wuss sometimes, then I get angry all day to hide my problem. I'm a lonely angry crazy man now. I'm trying to focus on school and work to get over her.

Trust
by: Anonymous

Finding someone you truly love and trust is the hardest thing to find but not impossible. It's hard especially knowing she has friends that are guys because you know what guys are thinking, but you got to trust her though she needs to trust you also for your relationship to grow stronger.

Stress is what kills relationships. Lying, cheating, etc. The healthy relationship can only take so much before the stress pushes each other apart. Trust her and love her always and if she loves you as love her she'll do the same.

If you learn to love someone and trust them your a step closer to finding that true love everyone is looking for. Look I know what if she doesn?t trust you or cheats on you, well at least you know she wasn?t the one for you and you did nothing wrong, so you move on with no regrets to finding that someone who will be true to you.

AL CARAJOOOOOOOO
by: Anonymous

Mandala al carajo y no aguantes más, la vida es muy bonita como para estar con alguien que desconfia de tí, al carajoooooooooo.

Do not worry
by: Anonymous

I've been with my girl for just over 2 years and this Facebook nearly ruined my rship. She has got over 500 friends and I only had 130..one day this next stupid bitch out of no where started chatting to me and there we go. Another flipping argument .... In the end she deleted my fb.. And the worst thing is I was the one who made her fb for her and she was the one who deleted mines.... That's not the point... The point is to stay with a women for good (I.e if you reallllly love her and want to be with her) you sometimes have to go kinda far away. That don't mean change towns... Just give it some time and it'll work out... It's all abt the time... And at this present moment she is sleeping rite next to me and I'm the most happiest boyfriend to have her..... Guys just take some time out... Life is short... Just be with someone... Don't go on the looks, go for the inner beauty.... That's when yu find the perfect partner... Please do not bad eye my rship now... Just kidding. Milton Keynes, England, mo

Have u guys ever thought about what girls feel after all?
by: Anonymous

Ok...Before talking about myself, I want to say that I totally agree with having both female and male friends for guys. Then let's what happen to me. I am a person who doesn't use Facebook very often, and basically I don't mind my boyfriend adding anyone or chatting with anyone on Facebook or msn, but later I am proved to be stupid. One day, I see he added a thai girl from no where. Then I asked him who is that, and he said he doesn't know, so it was over. Couple of weeks later, the bitch came to talk to me on msn, and ask me all kinds of question about my boyfriend, then I just realise something's going on. One night after arguing, my boyfriend disappeared. He turned off his phone, log off from msn and Facebook. I was so angry about his this kind of escaping attitude, so i rushed to his place. I found him sitting in front of the computer and block me from all his msn and Facebook account, then I checked his chatting record the first time (I never check record or email,etc.) in front of his face. He was having a face of saying: OMG, What can I DO!! Then, I found out his disgusting chatting with the thai bitch, and they were even talking about seeing her naked on vidcam. That really disgusted me!! Later, I also find out he has been vidcam with the bitch for quite a while!! OMG!! I really don't trust on him after that thing happened, and surely, I deleted the bitch from his Facebook and msn. And recently, he has told me that he wants social life, and he is adding hips of girls on Facebook again. He even refuse to tell me who are they, and he completely mention nothing about what they talk about. Then I asked him, so why don't you hang around with your male friends. He said 1st, there is no male in my working place, 2nd, when my male friends going out, they only hook up girls. So I want to ask all guy here who is reading this, is it true? Is it true that when u guys catch up somewhere, the only thing u do is hooking up girls?? I really doubt!! The point is, once you lost the trust from your girl, it is really hard to build up again, but you must not give up!! Especially, if you do love her a lot and plan to stay long term with her. In my case, I really don't know what to think and what to do about my boyfriend. Look like he's trying to do what he has done once before. I know it sounds ridiculous that girls are so crazy about their guys having female friend, but have you guy thought about our feeling after all. Especially, if you have cheated on your girl once, how could you feel ridiculous about she's feeling unsafe about you having female friends! Anyway, it's just my own opinion. If you don't like what I say, just don't be bothered:)

stabilty
by: Anonymous

find her and marry her, show you mean business.you have been dating too long, give her stability.

just let it be
by: Anonymous

logically one should let that kind of girls go....but it is not that easy. it is really tough.

and this type of self centered persons are never going to change because they are not ready to think about feelings the one before her................

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