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ONLINE DATING TIPS & SAFETY
ONLINE DATING TIP & SAFETY ON THE 'NET
We've put together here a super guide to
help you navigate the
jungle known as... online dating:
- DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH ONLINE
DATING!
- STELLA'S PRIMER FOR SUCCESS IN
CYBER-
DATING
- SAFETY ON THE 'NET
- YOU'RE THE BOSS
- PROTECT YOUR IDENTITY
- TRUST YOUR GUT
- THAT FIRST DATE--- SHORT & SWEET
- FOUND A GOOD ONE? CHECK HIM OUT
- SUGGESTED READING
Online dating tip...
If you've landed on this page, it's
probably because you're
contemplating entering the online dating scene. Before you jump in,
take the time to think about this, your reasons for doing it, your expectations, and then put it all into perspective...
Cyber-dating has been stigmatized for a long
time. Dating sites
were
seen
as arenas for the desperate and lonely. Now, though,
it has
broken
out... become mainstream, an acceptable way for busy
singles
to meet
others. Everybody's doing it! Some sources claim
that over
40% of all single American adults (or 50 million) have
tried internet
dating.
So, there's are a lot of quality people on
these dating sites...and
the vast majority are just as nice, curious,
open,
vulnerable, and
date-less as you. Approach them with
compassion and a sense of
humor.
We're all for it, if you go into this
with the right attitude... Realize up front that online dating is simply a
temporary, convenient, superficial way to be introduced to a lot of singles in a short period of
time...That's all it is!
And always remember that the computer
sitting on your desktop or
lap is...
ONLY A PLASTIC BOX!!!!
Online dating tip...
The internet is wild and wonderful, and
has piped into our homes an
amazing, colorful world. And we love it! There's an almost magical
quality to it, isn't
there? And there's a tendency to think it can
work
magic for us, too.
Well, it can't! It's only a piece of hardware.
Your
computer will not
magically turn you into a popular, confident
social
animal. Do not look
at the internet as your "Great white hope"
in
finding the lover of your
dreams. If you go into it with that kind of
attitude, you will surely fail!
Instead, think of online dating as simply
a means of introduction.
Try
it for a limited time, and make it one small part of your social
life.
And
remember that once you get past the introduction, and
meet
face-to-face, you are back at square one...
...in the old-fashioned dating game.
ONLINE DATING TIP
DON'T FALL IN LOVE
WITH
ONLINE DATING!
Online dating tip...
What is the main advantage of online
dating? Anonymity. The
anonymity of online encounters lets you get your foot in the door,
when
otherwise,
you might have just been passed by in real life. He or she
is
forced to talk to
you instead of rejecting you quickly on a
superficial
physical level.
Anonymity also makes shy people bold!
It's easy to flirt in
cyberspace.
And seductive in its own right. It temporarily banishes
loneliness, and
you can get addicted to it...Trouble is, it's not REAL.
You aren't really
flirting, you know?
He
can't kiss you through the modem...
Online dating is only a means to an end,
which is to find true love.
Don't
get caught up in the e-dating lifestyle permanently. Get
beyond the
email stage as soon as mutual interest is clear. We
believe it's
IMPOSSIBLE to fall in love with someone you've never
met.
There's
simply no way to know if the chemistry is there
without
a face-to-face
encounter. So it's foolish to let an online
"romance"
go on and on
without meeting. Lots of emotional
investment at risk,
and probably
a lot of time wasted, too.
Alright, so maybe we got a little preachy-teachy
here. We just don't
want you to
fall into the trap... as many have.
So, the moral of the story? Get on the phone-- get a real date--- and
you're on your way!
But first, we want to side-track you a little bit. In order to help you keep your whole "cyber-dating" project light-hearted and fun,
we have put together a page of true online dating stories, funny dating videos,
and an e-dating MINI-FORUM. Join us now at
Dating Online Story.
ONLINE DATING TIP
STELLA'S
SEVEN STEPS FOR
SUCCESS IN CYBER-DATING
(TRY SAYING THAT AFTER TWO BEERS)
Online dating tip...
1. Set up a new email account just for
e-dating. Keep it
separate from your regular ISP. This helps keep your
identity private and all that mail separate from your
home email. Yahoo allows
setup of free email accounts.
2. Select a good paying dating
site. Check out the ones in
our "Top 6" section. Do not sign up at a free
personals site. Why?
They attract teenagers (no credit
card) and married men (no
billing), and
other assorted
freeloaders and weirdoes. In general, they attract a
lower class of people. Spend the money.
3. Compatibility questionnaires & search
factors: Cast a
wide search net. Don't limit your selections too much,
or you may
pass right by a gem! You'll be surprised
at how much
you'll bend your "requirements" when you
fall in love. Unless it's something you are unwilling to
compromise on, like race,
smoking or children, put "ANY"
in the search parameter boxes. Read this great bloglet
on
"The
Requirements of True Love".
4. Be totally honest in your
online correspondence . This
is one of the biggest complaints about online dating; false
promises. Tell the truth about your age, marital status,
body size, smoking and
alcohol habits, and whether you have,
want or dislike children. Be honest, be yourself, meet
some nice people...your time will come. And you will
win points for having been honest in the first place.
Honestly, we can't understand why anyone would lie in
their profile... unless they don't plan to meet in person...
5. You may be overwhelmed with tons of
email responses,
especially at first. Limit the volume or you'll become
confused,
and the whole process will soon turn into a
chore. Quickly weed out
the ones that aren't for you.
Pick out the best 6 prospects, and respond to them.
Then deal with only 2 or 3 at a time. If one
of these
doesn't click, then you will cast a new net later, and
start over. Keep a
written list of all their names, or you
may find yourself writing to
repeat offenders.
6. Found a likely prospect? Go slowly at
first. Email for
a week or two, and don't reveal your real name. Find
out his age, occupation, hobbies, whether he was ever
married or has children (& custody), likes and dislikes
in music, food, etc. If it feels
right, then talk by
phone. Be patient. Build some rapport and trust your
instincts. Never press for a quick
meeting. Let things
unfold naturally. Make a date to meet if and when the
time feels right.
7. P.S. If a man is reluctant to give you his
home phone
number, or only calls you from work, he's probably
married...beware! (More on security below)
ONLINE DATING TIP
SAFETY ON THE 'NET
Online dating tip...
Yes, my dear, there are definitely some
unsavory characters on
the
internet, and dating sites are prime happy hunting grounds for
them!
A small percentage of the men you meet online may be
married,
pimply-face 14 year olds, exploitive fortune-hunters,
weird stalkers,
or sexual deviants. Honest.
Weasels on the web!
But, guess what? The whole world is like this. A stranger met in a
bar
or coffee shop carries just the same risk. If you are street-wise and
careful in your day-to-day life, just carry it over into
your internet
world. Be smart and careful, and trust your instincts.
And you'll be
just fine.
That being said...we've come up with some
really smart tips to help
you
enjoy a fun, rewarding, and safe online dating experience:
ONLINE DATING TIP
YOU'RE THE BOSS!
Online dating tip...
You are in control here... the one
calling the shots. Go slowly, collect
information gradually, take your time in making decisions. You can
choose if, when and where you will meet. That's another advantage
to
online dating--- you are anonymous, and under no obligation to take things
offline. Ever. If it doesn't feel right...don't meet in person!
And we know that you have heard of it.... online
sex! Can you believe it? Well, it really happens.
Read what happened to Scott and Sarah when they met in an online chatroom.
(Keep it light, guys!).
ONLINE DATING TIP
PROTECT YOUR IDENTITY
Online dating tip...
In the beginning, you will converse under
screen names via email
service provided by your dating site. Email this way 3 or 4 times
before going any further. NEVER reveal your real name, phone
number, home address, personal email address, or place of work
in the beginning.
You want to be able to make a clean break if you
need to. When it comes time to talk on the phone, ask for his
number,
and you call him. It's only later, when your instincts tell
you he is
to be trusted, that you will gradually provide more contact
information.
Once again, take your time with this.
ONLINE DATING TIP
TRUST YOUR GUT
Online dating tip...
Your common sense will help you with
this...
...and watch for these red flags:
- Contradictions, inconsistencies,
exaggerations, evasiveness-- Is
he too good to be true? Do you think he's lying? He probably is...
- Do you feel pressured,
uncomfortable, even a little bit afraid?
Is he odd or strange? Forget him.
- Too intimate, personal, talks about
sex in emails or uses the
word
"discreet"... Discreetly delete him from your list.
- Long cyber-dating history = loser.
- Angry, demeaning, disrespectful,
controlling... who needs it?
Lucky you found out early.
- Request a photo, if none was posted
on his personal ad, or ask
for more current poses of him. If he refuses to show you a
picture of himself, he's hiding something. And it probably ain't
pretty.
ONLINE DATING TIP
THAT FIRST DATE...SHORT &
SWEET
Online dating tip...
Look at the first date as a quick check
to see if there's any
chemistry between you. It's usually pretty easy to tell from an
hour
over coffee or cocktails. Don't get stuck in a 3 hour dinner
date with
a total loser... a waste of your time and his money. Follow
these
guidelines:
- Make a one-hour date at a public
place for drinks (busy
restaurant or coffee shop). You can always stay longer if he's
hot!
- Tell a friend about the date, his
name, phone number, and
where
you're going to meet. And check in with her when you
get home.
Hopefully you will never have to rely on this
precaution.
- Drive to the meeting place in your
own car. You don't want him
to
know where you live (yet). If your date jives, and you decide
to go on to dinner with him, drive there in your own car, not his.
- Booze---drink moderately. You must
keep your wits about you,
and there's nothing attractive about getting sloppy drunk on a
first date, anyway. If he shows up drunk or proceeds to polish
off 5 rum & cokes, let this be your last date with him (unless
you like to take care of alcoholics).
- If things do not feel right,
or you are afraid of the man who's
shown up, excuse yourself and leave. Who cares what he
thinks?
There's nothing embarrassing about safeguarding
your life. And
if you truly feel in danger, talk to the manager
and have him call the
police.
ONLINE DATING TIP
FOUND A GOOD ONE? CHECK
HIM OUT!
Online dating tip...
So you've been out on a couple of dates
now. He seems nice. You
want
to continue the relationship, but you really don't KNOW him
yet, do
you? Want to put your mind at ease? Do a little digging in
the public
records, or have a background check done on him, just
to be sure
before you invest too much, emotionally, in the
relationship.
Go to your online search engine...type in
(your county) county (your state)
public records. It may be linked to the Clerk of Court's office.
Once
you get to the right place, you should be able to
type in his
name, and
up will pop public records on him... marriage,
divorce, property
transfers, arrests, court judgments... pretty
revealing
stuff, and all
a matter of public record.
Most counties are up-to-date and online. If not, you can visit the
county seat and access
the
public records that
way. They can guide
you in your search. It's
really not hard. And usually free.
For a real eye-opening adventure, check out the local sex-offender
listings online... this is good information anyway. You can find out if a
convicted rapist lives next door. Sex offenders are required to
register where they live, and it's accessible information.
Go to your
search engine and type in (your county) county (your
state) sex
offender registry. That should take you right to it. If
not, type in
(your county) county sheriff. It may be listed with them. Don't use
a pay site. This is free public information.
The registry allows you to
look up offenders by name, and some
have a "neighborhood search".
Pictures and everything... sobering.
Hope your great new hottie
doesn't
pop up in there!
And if you want to pay hard cash, you can
have a professional
background check done on him... and why not? A potential employer
does it to you to protect his interests. Why not protect your love
interests, too? Type in "background checks" in the search box.
We've
never done this before, so don't have any sites to
recommend.
You're on your own!
Had enough of "online dating tip"?
Okay, I guess we've covered all the
bases. Don't let all these
safety
rules scare you away! You gotta take a chance if you want
to find true
love---just be careful, keep your head screwed on
straight, and
listen
to your head as well as your heart!
Happy hunting!
ONLINE DATING TIP
SUGGESTED
READING...CHECK IT OUT!
"Meet Me, Don't Delete Me.
Internet Dating: I've Made All The Mistakes So You Don't Have To" ,
-by Bev Bacon
Jump start your online love life with
this funny, informative guide.
Loaded with interesting real-life cases and specific how-to advice,
it provides the female slant on cyber-dating. The author reveals
some of the mistakes she made, the hilarious situations she found
herself in...and shares it all with you, so you can hopefully avoid the
same pitfalls. A fun and helpful read!
"I Cant Believe I'm Buying This Book:
A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating",
-by Evan Marc Katz
E-dating from a man's perspective (but
enlightening for women,
too). Specific practical advice revealed in a fresh, entertaining
manner.
His
premise is that you are doomed to fail in the game
unless you
post
a quality personal profile, then follow his tried-
and-true advice
and
techniques to assure success off-line.
We like this guide!
Online dating tip...
Ready to write your personal? Check out more
free online dating tips
and guidelines to help you write the perfect
online personal ad...
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