Partner cheated online. Now want's to join facebook!

by Jim
(Belfast)

My Wife and i have been married 18yrs and have 2 teenage boys. For several years on and off ,she had been keeping touch with friends via Myspace and another internet chat site. This was fine and our relationship was great until about 4 years ago i discovered she had been 'cheating' on these sites with a few other men. The online content was of a sexual nature and when i was at work they would phone her. I found out and was gutted, she was sorry. I told her no more internet chat sites and we worked on our marriage but it has taken these past few years to regain her trust.


Our relationship is stronger than ever now but her friends have recently been trying to talk her and myself to join Facebook. She contacts a few of them through my son's Facebook account and will probably set up her own account eventually. I've not mentioned it but the whole episode from years ago has come back to haunt me and i am (physically) sick with worry now. Do i suggest she set up her own? I know now that i am feeling insecure again and don't know how to handle it. I keep these feelings to myself because i don't want to be the jealous, insecure partner.
Am i being paranoid or what?
Advice would be appreciated.

Jim.
____________________________________________

Answer from Stella:

No Jim, you are not being paranoid. These internet social websites have caused more heartache, jealousies, conflict, and divorces than you would imagine! With Facebook in particular, it goes viral and she will end up with all kinds of strange men and guys from her distant past that somehow get linked into her page. I don't know how that occurs but it happened to me and I quit using Facebook. It got to be ridiculous, and when I thought about it, the whole thing was actually shallow and useless.

I strongly believe that you are well within your rights to request your wife to NOT join any social networking sites, or chat rooms. She obviously has a problem with the Internet experience, possibly even addictive.

Tell her that it is very important to you that she not do this, and that you hope your marriage is more important to her than a silly social networking site.

Fight for your marriage, Jim!

Hope this helps!

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