RIGHT LOVE AT THE WRONG TIME

by apple dapple
(UAE)

I only want to share the burdens of being in love with the wrong person. Some may find this very common but it's really true that it happened to me. Here goes...

One afternoon as I was having a meeting with my friends from different schools, Sammy, one of my friends introduced me to this guy. His name was Mark and he was really a hunk. Tall, dark and handsome and the way he carry himself was a very good one. The first time I saw him, I knew I had a crush on him. We talked a lot about the things in school and about ourselves. I didn't know at that time if he found me cute but the way he acted I say that I am special to him. He treated me differently than all the other friends.

It just came that we know that were having a mutual understanding of our feelings but neither of us dares to admit it. Well, it's because we belong to an organization that we treat each others as brothers and sisters.

Days, weeks, months and years pass by and we just had this feeling to each other. But one day during a Christmas party i got a gift from him. And it's kind of unique because it's not supposedly that kind of gift. So I assumed that he was ready to tell his feelings towards me.

But due to our duties and responsibilities to our organization we didn't have the chance to talk much. Me as an organizer went out with our guest and he as an officer of his school went out with his schoolmates. That was the last time we saw each other.

Years had passed and I didn't have any news from him, but I didn't really forget him. Then one day during a Valentine's party, he was there. I couldn't believe it. But there he was. Standing there and smiling at me.

I thought he would be gone forever and he would not remember me anymore. I greeted him and just said hi. And the party went on. I was nervous and I didn't realize that I was having wine too much. Yes, that night I was drunk. So drunk that I didn't know what's happening to me.

I really don't know what happened until I woke up the next morning in Mark's room! And he is sitting beside the bed. I asked him why am I here? He told me he carried me out of the party because I was really drunk. I told him why? There are lots of people there who could handle me. He just smiled and asked, "Why aren't you happy that you're here with me?"

I asked him why would I be happy since he left me so long without explanation. He told me he was sorry for that and that day he let out his feelings towards me. He told me it was since the first time we met that he had feelings towards me. He said he loved me since then but was afraid that I wouldn't believe, and he didn't have the courage to tell me, that I might reject him. I was surprised at his revelations and I just kept silent for a while.

Then he came to me and hugged me and told me that I should accept him. That day I accepted him and that day was the happiest moment. I didn't ask what happened to him for the years that he was gone. For me what mattered is now he's with me. The important thing is what we had now. We had each other.

Years have passed and we have had good times. We never had a fight but we argue sometimes. I thought it would last but who would thought it would end up in a tragedy.

I was in the office when my cellphone beeps. I smiled when i hear the tone because I thought it was him sending me a sms (text). But I was wrong. Only numbers appeared. I thought it was wrongly sent but it wasn't. The sms tells me to leave Mark alone. I answered her back why? and she answered me that they were married for more than a year and were having a baby. I was really shocked! For almost three years that we were together, I did not suspect that he was married. I couldn't think so I left work immediately.

I called him and told him that we should meet. He told me yes. I was very silent and he keeps on asking if there is something wrong. I smiled at him and told him nothing. As we are sitting along the beach I asked him if he wanted to tell me something very important.

He looks at me and was shocked. He told me "I am married already". I asked him why???? All the time he was cheating me. I told him why didn't he just tell me straight that he can't love me back? But instead he let me believe that we could be forever. By then he was crying and telling me that I should forgive him and I should not leave him. I was crying too, but I told him it was not fair for his wife and for me too.

That was the saddest day of my life, I wanted to die. At that time, the pain in my heart was unbearable. I keep on asking myself, why is the person you love most the one who will hurt you the most too? Days passed by and although I still love him that much and I know he loves me too, I decided to forget him. But it was really hard to forget, so I decided to go away; to not to see him again, because every time I went home from my office he was there waiting for me. He sometimes followed me. So now I am here in UAE mending a broken heart and hopefully to forget him.

I pray that one day a love that I cherished for many years will be forgotten, and someday maybe I will find a person who will love me the same way as I love him.

Thanks....