Should I go for it!

by Roland

Dear Stella,

I met this girl about four months ago. We are both members of one charity association. I saw her for a first time at the event that we organized with this association. There I noticed that she looked at me a lot and we had many eye contacts.. I have thought about it a lot if it was a sign that she likes me. At that time I didn't develop any feelings for her. I started to fall for her 2-3 weeks later when I had seen her a few more times. She lives in another town and I see her 3-6 times a month when we have some event with this association.

I have been able to talk with her alone once. This was when I already had feelings for her. The only thing I know we have in common is this charity association. I know some other things that she likes and these aren't things that I don't like but I just haven't been able to try these things. I'm sure that we have more things in common, I just haven't had a chance to get to know her better.

I also feel that she is out of my league. She is more active than me, which can be a problem. I know that I can be more active too if I have someone to hang out with. At the moment I just don't have many friend that I'd like to hang out with. She is also more sociable than me. But these are things I can change.

The thing that is bothering me is that if I should take a chance and give her a clear signs that I like her or just wait and see where it goes. The problem about telling her how I feel is that I'm a little shy and I have this feeling that she is too. Also I'm afraid of rejection. This is because of all my previous relationships have been one-sided and I have been hurt a lot. Also it would hurt seeing her after rejection and knowing that I don't have a chance with her.

I don't want to mess this up. Every time I see her and she looks at me she gives me that sweet look like no other girl has done before.
I really hope you can help me with this.



Answer from Stella:

Hi Roland,

Here's what I think you should do: Keep on seeing her for a while at the association events, but talk to her more. Be pleasant and just show you are interested by talking more with her.

Once you feel it has been progressing well, bite the bullet and ask her out on a casual date. Maybe one of those interests she has that you haven't tried. Ask her if she could teach you or show you about new interests she is familiar with.

Don't do this: DO NOT tell her how you feel. There is no reason to do this, it will make her uncomfortable and probably run her off. Don't push the issue! Just try to get a date and enjoy her company without getting so serious so early.

Good luck and Hope this helps!

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