Should I Propose?
For the past couple of months I had been trying to work out a reconciliation with an ex who dumped me and is now with someone else. I was on the rebound big time.
During this time, a co-worker and long-time friend told me that if I had been smarter, I could have focused in on a woman (her) who was willing to admit to being in love with me and was not going home and going to bed with someone else (like my ex did).
I felt like a jerk. Here I had this wonderful woman (Sara) worrying over me, fussing over me, letting me treat her like Dear Abby, and all the while, she and I could have had something. I went to my ex, wished her well, and said good bye. She told me Sara had come to her weeks ago, asking her to back off.
I sent Sara some flowers with a nice note. When I went to see her, I told her that she was right and that I would like us to start over. I told her that I do need a woman who is "my baby" and "my woman" ,as politically incorrect as those statements are, and loves me, but that I didn't want to take advantage of her or be selfish. She was kissing me and real happy, telling me if that's my idea of being selfish, I had her consent to be selfish and be a self centered jerk.
I've told her that we've been all about me, but that now we are all about her for a while, and how I can make up to her for lost time, and court her properly. We are going out tonight FOR THE FIRST TIME.
I got a call today about a great opportunity out of state; however, if I take it, what do I do about Sara? We have not even dated yet? I don't know. Should I ask her to go with me? Should I ask her to marry me? I don't want to make this move without her. How do I handle this?
From Stella:
Do not let a job opportunity hurry up a life-altering decision like marriage (or even living together). You are not thinking straight if you are considering proposing to a woman you have not even dated yet. (Rebound, rebound).
Take the job, move out of state. Stay in touch with Sara. Call her, email and write her. Get together as often as possible. I know it seems like the timing is horrible here, but sometimes things like this happen for a reason that is only clear later.
If you were meant to be together, it will stand the test of time (and distance). GO SLOW WITH IT. And good luck!
Stella
