Strange Relationship- Is it me or him?

by Kristen
(Monterey,Ca.)

Ok. I knew this guy for 3 years. In those 3 years he tried twice to start a relationship with me.I didn't do it because i was going through a separation from my husband & then a divorce. I didn't feel the timing was good. He was hurt & moved to Nevada (I'm in Calif.) with family. We did not talk to each other for the first 6 months he was in Nevada. Out of the blue he calls me. We talked on the phone everyday for a few months. Then he decides he hates Nevada & moved back to Cali.We started seeing each other & we were together for about 1 year. During the year we were together, we did argue & broke up a few times but always got back together a few days later.

Well the last 2 -3 months we were together, i started feeling something was not right between us. He was not calling me everyday, didn't want to see me as often sorta dropping out of my life.

I was getting frustrated at this point. I would ask him what's going on with him, why is he pulling away? He told me he was not seeing anyone else, was not looking for anyone else but needed space.

I felt there was more to it. I did something really bad. Knowing he is not a computer person, i went online to his cell phone carrier's web site & activated his online phone account. He has been talking to his ex girlfriend for the last month. She dumped him 7 years ago because she is a Jehovah witness & moved away.She couldn't be with him anymore because he is not a Jehovah witness & he would never be one.

Thing is, I'm not Miss America but she is not cute at all! She sorta moved back to the area (half hour away)a few months ago.
I can not understand why he wants to start talking to her again. There is no future between them cause of her religion & her parents are prejudice (she is black & he is white)so why bother?

Now he hardly talks to me. During the 5 years now that we have known each other, we have gone through periods where we didn't talk to each other for a few months but one of us always picks up the phone & calls each other.

I know they don't hang out together because (i know this is wrong)i drive by his house all the time & no one else is there with him & his car is always home.

A friend of mine said maybe he just wants someone to talk to,someone he's not attracted to while he's cooling off about me & maybe he needs advice. Honestly, i can not see him getting back together with her. I need some advice PLEASE!

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Answer from Stella:

Hi Kristen,

I know you will not like this advice, but I think you should let this one go! Cut your losses and move on; as it appears he has already moved on himself.

Even if you did get back together, a relationship built on lies, secrets and deceit is doomed to fail, or be very unhappy. You could never trust one another.

Good luck and hope this helps!

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