Teresa

(Salt Lake City Utah)

My husband of 26 years left me for his best friends wife, my "friend". We have 3 grown daughters who basically took care of me while I hid in the bedroom for 6 months before I filed for divorce.

Three weeks after I filed, I went to an event and ran into and old friend who I had dated briefly some 30 years ago. Told him to call me and he did and we have been seeing each other for over a year. We have a great time together. He is VERY good to me. Kind, considerate, passionate. Helps me a little financially, has taken me on 2 wonderful vacations. He is interesting, smart, sensitive, and more.

Here's the problem. He also went through a divorce about 18 months before me. He shared his trials and heartache with a woman he works with. She is currently unhappily married and they have a very strong "emotional" connection. But I see things differently. She is constantly making him desserts, and they golf together once a week, and they talk on the phone a lot and they send each other text messages a lot. She is quite the flirt. I have told him my concerns, but he is steadfast that he will keep this relationship. She is very pretty and very FAKE. I read an email from her the other day that said she hopes their friendship will go farther and that she hopes I do not mind sharing him because they are so emotionally dependent on each other. She just lover hanging out with him and doesn't think I should know about it.

Guess my only option is to stop seeing him. But he talks about our future a lot and tells me how much I mean to him. How happy he is that I am in his life. On and on and on. I think I am the safe one and she is the "off limits" but want one. Help me see this better.

Thanks Teresa

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From Stella,

I'm sorry, Teresa, but I don't think you will like my answer. Your new guy is still very much in a relationship with his ex-wife. If you don't mind sharing your man with another woman, in every sense of the word, then go for it.

Me, I would give him an ultimatum--- her or me. If he will not give her up, then move on to greener pastures.

Sorry, that's what I would do.
Stella