To be pushy or not to be?

by Victoria

Stella, I've been smiling and making eye contact with this adorable guy in one of my college classes this entire semester. He sits on the other side of the class, but he ALWAYS looks back at me and gives me a sweet smile. Plus, we say hey to each other everyday when I walk into class. I KNOW there's a little teeny-tiny bit of attraction there at least.

Apparently, this guy is shy, because he's had chances to talk to me when class gets out early, but I'm usually with my best friend since she's in the same class, and I guess it would've been easier to approach me if we weren't attached at my hip. I'm pretty shy when it comes to talking to guys, so that wasn't happening without me making a fool of myself.

I've never seen him out on campus during my breaks, except twice and during those times, we just smiled and said hey like always, no stopping to talk or get to know each other. So the most we've ever exchanged between each other was "Hey." LAME! Being shy sucks.

So, with the semester ending and our conversation still hadn't gotten farther than saying hey to each other, I decided to grow some balls and just give him my number the last day of class.
Wrote my name and number on a piece of paper, walked in class, smiled as usual, handed the paper to him, he took it with a smile, and said "Thank you very much." So that was done.

Later that day, he added me on facebook. So I'm thinking "This is good.. he doesn't think I'm butt-ass ugly or something" but what now?
I felt like I conveyed my interest in the guy when I handed him my number, and now I figured the ball was in his court.

I didn't wanna push it and freak him out if I started ramming his profile with posts, likes and comments everywhere, because I wouldn't want him to think I'm being pushy or some weirdo so I did nothing at all, EXCEPT one poke that was never returned...

It's been 3 weeks and now he's in a relationship out of the damn blue! I understand there's nothing wrong with that, because he obviously has a life out of facebook, but I'm just PISSED OFF AND CONFUSED that I gave him my information, he did something about it but didn't carry through with anything else.

Should I have done something different when we became friends? The only reason why I didn't say anything to him was because I thought it was his turn to say something TO ME. I didn't wanna be pushy. What else should I have done to show interest? Why did he bother to add me if he wasn't going to talk to me? WHY IS HE BEING SO FRUSTRATING?!


Answer from Stella:

Hi Victoria,
From a fresh outside eye, I would say he didn't pursue you because he is not interested. You gave it a try, and he never tried to call you. Instead, he entered into another relationship.

I think you should take your lumps and move on.

P.S. Instead of giving him your phone number, I think you should have at least started a conversation with him and talked a while first.

Hope this helps!

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