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Find Love- Keep Love : Romance News : Love Advice : The Morning After...After the 'I do' comes the true love

The Morning After...After the 'I do' comes the true love

Ahh, Valentine's Day. The scent of chocolate perfumes the air.
Yesterday was the day that attentive men and women felt
obligated to express their love because retailers suckered
them into it.

Those lucky enough to receive them enjoy the flowers and the
cherry cordials. But seriously, love doesn't have much to do
with a skimpy red negligee.

Love is scurrying into the bathroom to rub your spouse's
back when he's retching with the flu. It's scurrying back
out after he begs you to leave. True love is scrubbing that
toilet with Comet the next day.

Romance is when your spouse leans over in the booth and
offers you his lobster. He says, "Take a bite," and
doesn't cringe if it's a huge one.

It's sharing a newspaper in the morning and refolding the
section he likes. It's not letting him walk around with a
huge glob of goop in the corner of his eye.

At a recent wedding, I listened to the marriage vows with
renewed interest. The bride and groom promised to be tender
with each other's hearts. They pledged to listen to one
another, to be kind and gentle.

What the young couple may not know yet is that love teeters
on a line. If it loses its balance and falls off the line,
love becomes critical, angry and jealous. One day, you're
flittering about like a lovebird and the next you're pulling
on a diaper and wig and heading to Orlando, mace in hand.

Tenderness keeps you on the line. When life gets in the way,
with its cancers and blemishes, stomach viruses and bruises,
tenderness prevents you from railing against your mate and
reminds you to turn to him with love.

It's not until after the wedding that we fully understand
the vows. When my husband quoted from the Book of Ruth,
stating, "Where you go, I will go, where you lodge, I will
lodge," I figured it meant location. So when our military
orders sent him to Virginia, Orange County and the desert, I
went with him.

Now I know that we really pledged something totally different.
When you lodge in misery, so will I. When you confront troubles,
so will I. When you fall, I will be your soft place to land.

Conversely, when you rejoice and celebrate, I will fill the
balloons with helium. Whether we're on the mountaintop or in
the valley, we'll be there together.

The reality of love is rescuing each other when the car
breaks down and letting the one who's more tired take the
nap. It's yummier than chocolate and sexier than negligee
and can't be summed up in a two-line greeting card.

But society has spoken and Valentine's Day is a box you must
check. It's in your best interest to just buy the goofy
stuffed teddy bear. Stick a rose in one of his furry paws and,
in the other, a card that vows you'll always be tender with his heart.

Jenny Sokol
Columnist
The Orange County Register

*** For some of the best advice for long-term lovers we have ever seen, visit our webpage: Pearls of Wisdom !