trying to understand

I am 23 years old and I have been with my bf for a little over a year. Recently we have kinda cooled down with our relationship because he feels he is at a point in his life where he wants to be available for any future possibilities such future job opportunites, etc. He's about to finish his last year in college and recently joined a fraternity.

He tells me it's not anything I have done, he just needs some time to figure some things out and focus on himself for right now. I understand where he is coming from but it's hard not being able to fix the situation completely.

I honestly believe things will work out in the end because we have never had any major arguments or constantly fought over anything; but I know for right now he has to do this for himself.

What do you think?

---Trying to understand

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I think he is a wise man, and I think you would be a wise woman to just cool it and let things happen in their own good time.

I don't know what it is about us girls that makes us want to push the issue, understand everything, and fix things up. (I'm not being critical. I mean it. All women are like this).

But sometimes, and this sounds like such a situation, it is best to NOT push the issue, NOT have to understand totally, and NOT to strive to fix everything!

Don't force him into something he obviously isn't ready for. And don't hook up permanently with a man who isn't sure you are the one. If you two belong together, it will happen in it's own good time.

Meanwhile, stay busy; get some new interests; move on with your life and get happy with yourself. The rest will fall into place.

Good luck,
Stella

Comments for trying to understand

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Best to end it
by: Anonymous

It's best to end the relationship now as it's obvious he doesn't want it to be continued. NEVER stay with someone who isn't sure you're the one for him. If he had been serious about you, he wouldn't have said what he did. But even if he's not just making excuses, it's still best to end it with him gently and move on- as you're both too young for a long term relationship.

If you end it, either he'll realize what he's missing and will come after you or he'll accept your decision and you'll be free to find someone more suited to you. Someone better.

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