unhappy relationship

by jane
(south africa)

I have been dating this man for 10 months. I am 22 and he is 27 years old but he is very shy. In my past relationship i was so open and happy but unfortunately things never work out. But with this new boyfriend i don't feel comfortable and it takes a long time for me to feel free when i am with him. He is very shy and he is handsome. We do not stay in same location, he visit me sometimes on weekend. Where i am staying is next to tavern and before he come to see me he will go to take 2 beers before he come.

Sometimes he will just be there from 17Hoo up until 23H00, not telling me that he is around. Then at midnight he will knock on my door drunk. After i open door for him he will greet me with no hugs, no kiss, like is not my boyfriend and then he will sleep, not even touching me.

He will keep quiet up until i say something or ask him anything. If i also keep quiet it will be silence. After he leaves he will take maybe a month not visiting me. And sometimes he can spend 4 days not calling me, and if i call him he will ask me boring question like what are you doing, where are you. After that he says bye, but i am the one who phoned him. And if i send him message he won't even reply.

One day i phoned him to ask if he love me and he must make decision if he don't love me. But he make excuses like i do love you, problem is that i am staying very far and sometimes i work on Saturday. So now i feel like i don't have boyfriend. I feel lonely.

Even if we have sex he don't romance. So i get very worried and if i talk to him he won't even look me eyes to eye.

SO I NEED HELP WHAT CAN I DO. CAN I BE PATIENT AND SEE OR JUST DUMP HIM. BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY TALKED TO HIM ABOUT THIS, IS LIKE I MAKE HIM WORSE. Sometimes i feel like i can call him but i just get bored. And sometimes if my phone rings if i saw his name i become very angry and bored.

AS from his last relationship he was the same as mine because her exgirl friend was running away from him if he told her that he want to see her. I thought maybe that girl was a cheater, then now i think he was also getting bored. WHAT CAN I DO?

Thank you
Jane

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Answer from Stella:

Dear Jane,

YUCK! Dump him! I think being alone for a while might be nice after enduring this clod. I think you really want to anyway, just looking to justify your feelings. You got it.

Hope this helps!

***Do you agree with Stella's advice? Why or why not? Leave your thoughts below!