Want to be more than friends with her

by Chris
(LA)

Dear Stella,

I have fallen in love with a girl two years younger then me. I haven’t told her that i like her, but i have tried to show it with kindness, politeness, words and a little bit with my actions. I don’t know if she has noticed that I like her.

I try to talk with her as often as I can, but usually these conversations are very short, because I can’t think of anything to talk about. Not even ask about herself. On the other hand, she doesn’t show any initiative. She very rarely asks something from me. Mostly she just answers when I ask her. She isn’t shy, because I have seen her talking to other guys very freely.

From our first meeting I had a feeling that there’s a little "spark" between us, but now it seems like it has starting to fade. Although when we meet face to face and have eye contact she smiles and has a look like she likes me a bit. But because I suck at reading this kind of signs, it can just be my imagination. Also she has lately starting to talk about other guys when talking to me. She didn’t do it before. Can this mean she’s trying to make me jealous?

The problem is that I don’t know how to move on from here. I want to be more then friends with her. Should I ask her on a date? And how should I do it(I somehow feel like i have missed the right moment and now if I ask her it looks weird to her.)? I’m also afraid of rejection, because I have been hurt very bad in last relationships. This would damage our friendship, too.

I have known this girl almost a year and I just can’t go on like this, that I see her, but can’t be with her.

Big thanks,
Chris
____________________________________________

Answer from Stella:

Hi Chris,
By all means, ask her out! Maybe she has given up after waiting almost a year for you to make the next move. Ask her on a casual date, like out for a cup of coffee or a drink. If she rejects you, I don't see where you have lost a lot, as you stated you "couldn't go on like that". So go for it!

Hope this helps!

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Comments for Want to be more than friends with her

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want to be more than friends with her
by: Anonymous

Chris,
I think you should definitely open up your dialog with her. If you are not saying much she will take this as you are not interested. She is most likely waiting for you to make the move. You have nothing to lose. If she says no to the first get together ask her if maybe another time she would be interested. If she says no, then you will have your answer. If she says yes, then plan the meeting...don't wait another minute..go for it..and good luck..
Julie

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