What makes a good match?

by Brandy
(Detroit, MI, USA)

I'm looking to do a speed dating event in my area for those of the more gothically inclined. (Detroit if anyone wants to attend) But, I need ideas for how to match people. What questions would you ask someone? What are the best attributes to look for in long term dating?

STELLA'S ANSWER: 5 Revealing Questions to Ask on a Date

Early date chit-chat can become so routine that you walk away knowing little more about a person than where he works or what kind of car she drives. The trick is to ask questions that aren't too personal but secretly reveal your date's tastes and values. So the next time you've got uncomfortable silence to fill on a date, ask one of these playful and engaging questions:

1. "What's your favorite scene from your favorite movie?"
Talking about mass media and pop culture can clue you in to similar interests and worldviews. If you have radically different preferences, there may be some fundamental differences between the way the two of you look at the world. But asking your date to name his or her favorite scene can help you distill what's important to him or her beyond just type of film.

2. "What do you love about your job? What do you hate?"
The standard, "What do you do?" is a closed question that doesn't reveal much about a person other than their job title. But if you ask a bit differently, you can delve into your date's likes and dislikes; reveal his or her strengths; and find out how happy he or she is with life overall.

3. "What's your definition of a relationship?"
This question may raise your dates eyebrows, but is a good question to ask. Does your date want to be wined and dined, or are you both looking for a 50/50 relationship? A question like this lets you share your expectations and fundamental beliefs, and heads off truly different life-views from the get-go.

4."If money were no object, what would you do with your life?"
This tried-and-true icebreaker showcases your date's hopes, dreams, and even their regrets--topics that often remain untouched by even serious romantic partners. Your date's response will help clue you in to common goals and interests that go beyond what you do on a day-to-day basis.

5. "Will you share an embarrassing moment you had with me?"
This fun question is great to ask when a date has gotten a little stilted or quiet, because it breaks the tension and helps reveal his or her character. Now, you may have to share an awkward experience yourself in order to make your date feel comfortable. A sense of humor is a very valuable attribute in a potential partner, and the ability to laugh at ourselves is critical in a budding relationship.

By asking these questions and considering the answers, you'll gain valuable insights into your date--and know whether the two of you are likely to click on future get-togethers.

~Some excerpts by Ayren Jackson-Cannady for Match.com

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