Which way do I go?

by Esmereldajoy
(Tampa, FL)

My problem is this. In high school I had a "fling"

With a guy. One nite stand. Through the years I found out he had been looking for me for years
The problem is this. I have been off and on seeing a man who I'm CRAZY ABOUT! He's the ultimate
Bad boy with a nice car, great in bed we really click but he says he does not want to settle down. Not
Yet. I love my time with him. He's sexy dangerous, bad boy and I pretty much worship the ground he walks upon. Back in June I was very frustrated with the bad boy and had been talking to the high school fling. We were still attracted to each other and we thought we would see what would happen if he came from indiana to Florida to see me. The thing is, he is sick with heart problems lung problems and never told me. He is a wonderful person and man and would make someone a good husband
But I'm not attracted to him like I am the bad boy. The good boy. Will worship the ground I walk upon, the bad boy has a few things he needs to work out but isn't ready to settle. For me he has hung the moon even if he still dated around sometimes. He spends ten times more with me because we are friends too. He won't kiss me though. But I know he loves me too. Even if he doesn't display affection too easily. He has Aspergers syndrome. So the dilemma is do I go with the guy who is sick and needs and wants to love me and try to grow with him into something else or do I go with the bad boy who I never get tired of and would wait a thousand years for? I'm so confused and am hurting the good guy because he has been with me Since June 24th and I just kicked him out. He has no job, has to have everyone mother him and do things to help him. He has the kindest heart and would kill for me. He's cute and very handsome and loves me to death and tells me. The other one shows me in actions that he loves me. He's so much fun to be with too. He's my kryptonite. But he hurt me once with another woman although he told me from the beginning he only was my friend with benefits. Well it's something else now And neither of us know or understand what it is. I don't know where it can go either because he talks about being attracted to other women too
But prefers me. Is this a test. I could probably learn to love the good guy but it's just not there for me with him. I feel bad because he wants to be with me and came
All this way only to be abandoned by me
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