Yikes... Her Biological Clock is Ticking...

I'm a 28 yr old male who has been in a relationship for 5 years with a woman who is 37. I love her dearly but there's a problem.She is ready to have children, as her biological clock is coming to an age where it is now or never. And I am unsure about having children and would ideally want to wait a couple of years before doing so.

This issue has caused us to argue a couple of times and it has caused me to question my relationship with her. It has come to a stage now where I'm thinking of either ending it all or going along with her decision and trying for a baby. I really need some advice as I am close to breaking down in tears every time we argue.

From Stella:

This is a sticky one. On the one hand, if you think you want to be a father in the near future anyway, then stick with the woman you love, bite the bullet and move your own "child-timetable" up a couple of years for her sake. It really is now or never for her, and she can't help that.

But if you have genuine doubts that you ever want to father children, then end the relationship now. She wants children and you don't. This is not a problem that can ever be compromised on. No one should ever have children if they don't want them. Period. And this has nothing to do with the age difference, it is a fundamental incompatibility issue. And I suspect that this is the case for you: real doubts about the desire to have children.

Sadly, I don't think it looks good for you two; I don't think you should bring unwanted children into this world for the sake of keeping the peace in a relationship. It will backfire big-time in the long run, and be unfair to the kids. Please do some soul-searching and decide what it is you truly want in your life. You only get one.


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